Spotting Red Flags Early: Relationship Lessons From ‘It Ends With Us’

It Ends With Us, the film adaptation of Colleen Hoover’s novel, explores the intricate dynamics of love and highlights the importance of recognizing red flags in relationships. Through the protagonist’s challenging experiences, the movie offers crucial lessons on identifying toxic behaviors, finding the courage to escape, and understanding the value of self-worth.

The film provides a profound look into the reality of physical abuse in relationships. By following Lily’s journey, viewers gain insight into the red flags and subtle signs that can lead to more severe problems. This narrative emphasizes the necessity of awareness and self-protection when navigating relationships.

Shahzeen Shivdasani, a relationship expert and author of Love, Lust and Lemons, shares five key lessons from It Ends With Us:

1. Trust Your Instincts
   Lily’s initial discomfort with Ryle’s aggressive behavior, like kicking a chair, proves critical. Trusting your gut feelings is essential—if something feels wrong, it likely is. Your instincts are your body’s way of keeping you safe.
2. Don’t Lie to Yourself
   The film shows how Lily initially ignores the red flags about Ryle, clinging to a fantasy rather than facing the reality of the abuse. Recognizing and accepting problematic behavior early on is crucial; denial can prevent you from addressing the issue.
3. Trauma is Not an Excuse
   While Ryle’s past trauma is presented as a reason for his abusive actions, trauma should not justify staying in a harmful relationship. It’s important to understand that unresolved issues in a partner are not your responsibility to fix.
4. Your Safety Comes First
   Lily’s decision to leave Ryle, despite her love for him, underscores the importance of prioritizing your safety and well-being. No relationship is worth compromising your mental and physical health.

It Ends With Us offers valuable insights into relationship dynamics and the importance of recognizing abusive patterns. Understanding these lessons can help individuals protect themselves and make informed decisions about their relationships.