Everything always works better when there is a good atmosphere in the home or workplace. One of the obstacles to fostering a good atmosphere is having a critical nature, of seeing what is wrong instead of appreciating what is right. A critical nature is linked to an abstract sense of perfectionism. This leads to the development of a controlling nature.
People who have a controlling nature think that they know best how things should be done. They work very hard and make an honest effort, but what they forget is that their definition of perfection is totally relative.
In that mania for perfection as they see it, and their overdeveloped sense of responsibility, they become controlling and critical of others. Rather than emphasising what is good, and that too not just in namesake but really from the heart, they actually block any cooperation from others. They also prevent the emotional well-being and growth of others. Just as when a teacher does not realise and recognise the good things a child does and does not verbally express their encouragement, a child cannot progress.
This controlling attitude and task-oriented approach creates hardness and harshness in the soul towards others, and also towards themselves.
What is more important, that the task gets done or how the task gets done? When people feel respected and appreciated, then they give of their best. So, to create a good atmosphere that encourages and respects others, we have to feel complete. If not, there are too many needs within; the need to lead, to serve, to be appreciated. These needs block the heart and the atmosphere.
We need to understand where others are and accept that and not be clouded by where we want them to be. All it takes, in a team or a family, is for just one person to shift their consciousness, and, from the heart, want to accept, understand and have real empathy for the others. This shift in consciousness affects everyone else.
Meditation is the key to filling the soul. Cultivating the awareness of being a soul, cultivating a relationship with God. That is the basis of all relationships. The soul is then full of generosity, good wishes and pure feelings towards others. That is what creates a beautiful atmosphere.
Anthony Strano, author and Rajyoga teacher with the Brahma Kumaris.
