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Royal Enfield Bullet 350 Review: Is it really a Bullet or a pretender?

In India, the Bullet has always been synonymous with masculinity, but when RE launched the new Bullet last year, it wasn’t considered macho enough by RE purists, simply because it lacked a kickstarter. For those of you not in the know, a kickstarter is a device, which, as per Bullet purists, boosts your testosterone by […]

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Royal Enfield Bullet 350 Review: Is it really a Bullet or a pretender?

In India, the Bullet has always been synonymous with masculinity, but when RE launched the new Bullet last year, it wasn’t considered macho enough by RE purists, simply because it lacked a kickstarter. For those of you not in the know, a kickstarter is a device, which, as per Bullet purists, boosts your testosterone by 2,000 ng/dL everytime you use it.
This was also the time when the user demographics were clearly defined and set in stone. it was surmised that men who rode the original cast-iron Bullet 350s and 500s were born with full beards; they could fight off bears with bare hands, and chose to undergo surgeries without anesthesia. Some alleged that even the females who ride a cast-iron Bullet have he, him, and his as their pronouns. The UCE Bullet Standard 350 owners were not shown in feeble light too, as it was believed that they could still take on an angry pitbull, and grow full beards overnight at will. The new Classic and Bullet riders were defined as those who’d be intimidated by Pomeranians, if not by Chihuahuas, and face difficulty in growing even a proper stubble.
Cliches aside, let’s dive a bit deeper to understand whether the new Bullet actually qualifies as a real Bullet or not.

Does it look like a Bullet?

Yes. You’ll concur even if you’re visually impaired. Just caress the sides of the tank, and the protruding emblems on both sides would serve as Braille for your fingers and mind.

Does it sound like a Bullet?

Yes. In fact, it’s the only motorcycle in the world in this segment where if you’re again that aforementioned visually impaired person, you would identify that it’s indeed a Bullet as soon as its engine comes to life.

Does it perform like a Bullet?

No. And that’s the best thing ever to have happened to a Bullet. Unlike the other Bullets, this one doesn’t cry and stall when you dump the clutch in first gear while giving it a handful of revs. Plus, it doesn’t threaten to self-destruct at 100 km/h. In fact, you can ride it continuously at over 100 km/h and it will happily chug along. Yes, there are almost zero vibrations. At the other extreme, it’s still the most tractable motorcycle in the segment. Moreover, thanks to the new chassis, it now handles well too.

Does it drink like a Bullet?

Yes, and no. Like the UCE bikes, even this would give you around 30 km/l in the city and over 35 km/l on the highways. But that’s when you calculate in km/l. If you calculate in kmh/l or time/l you’ll find that it’s way more efficient as you would be reaching your destination quicker, more often than not.

So is it real Bullet?

See, at the outset, other than a few aesthetic details, including the different colours, it’s essentially the Classic Reborn. However, what most conveniently forget is the fact the Classic itself had emanated from the Bullet, just like the Electra had back in the day. They were always the same bikes.
The essence of the Bullet can’t be diluted by the absence of a mere kickstarter. It would take a lot more than that. As of now, the new Bullet one-ups the older Bullets in almost every parameter, including the sound—it’s better than the UCE and AVL, but not the C—and it does so without breaking down every day. Therefore, it’s still unmistakably a Bullet, albeit one that has finally understood the difference between masochism and machoism. Sooner or later, its fans would too.

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