As a psychologist people ask many questions and seek solutions. The situations they describe, the problems they want solutions to capture the reality of life and living. We will discuss these questions and their solutions here
Q: My partner is an introvert and I am an extrovert. I have been told that this will be difficult and is a red flag because we are so different from each other. But I love my partner and am planning to marry so want to know how can we make the relationship work?
What are introverted and extroverted?
Introvert people direct their energy inward to their own feelings and thoughts and get their energy from being in their own company, having time to recharge on their own.
Extrovert people direct their energy outward to other people and their environment and they get their energy from being around other people.
You have to choose the differences between your personality and your partner’s personality. These differences can be divisive or a source of strength as you complement each other’s weaknesses and can build on them. Find harmony at the intersection of your personalities instead of giving your differences all the power.
Here are ways to make it work:
1) Know Thyself – Figure out what you need so that you can express it to your other half. If you do not know what you want, how will you communicate it to your partner?
2) Get clear on what you Need to recharge – how much alone time or social time you need so that you are not stressed out.
3) Create boundaries around your needs and communicate them clearly – this will build a healthy space for both.
4) Differentiate between important and non-essential activities- you both can sit together and draw out the necessary and non-necessary activities. In this way, no partner feels drained and tired by not meeting people or meeting people
5) Have a circle apart from your partner don’t expect your partner to be your spouse, friend, mentor, support group, etc.
6) Appreciate and praise your partner’s strengths as your partner actually fills the gaps that you have. We all want to be seen and valued for the unique skills and perspectives we bring to the world.
7) Search for Harmony at the intersection and space where your personalities meet that is where you can work as a team and do things together.
8) Don’t judge through your lenses because you already have a view different from your partner’s, instead put yourself in their shoes and then judge if you still want to.
9) You can fill in where each lacks and balance each other like the yin and yan.
10) Have a Me time and a We time – do things together but also do things alone.
11) When the situation gets tough, write about the ways the other’s personality has helped you grow as a person.
12) Be committed to finding your own language as a pair, to work through the differences that may be divisive, and deepen your understanding of the other.
You can send your questions.