Love, they say, is what makes the world go round. Yet, even though each human being searches diligently for love, and finds people or pets and things, to lavish their affection on, it is one of the most widely misunderstood virtues. All the love we experience is only second best. Spiritually speaking, we are searching for the long-lost experience of love that each one has had for and from the Supreme Being, God.
In place of the real thing, we call attachment, love. Attachment is a perverted form of love. Paradoxically, when I am able to detach from those to whom I am attached, it is then that true love is experienced. Attachment is conditional love; detachment is unconditional love. God is never praised as attachment—He is always, in all religions, praised as love.
Attachment brings worry, burden and possessiveness. Love brings concern, responsibility and freedom. Love is giving, giving, giving—with no expectation of any kind of return. The more I detach, the more I will be loved. Love is not an emotional expression, it is acceptance and respect for each individual, based on an understanding that each soul has their own part to play here. If I am attached, then my mind will be affected by the suffering or the state of mind of the one to whom I am attached. If I love them, but am also detached, then my state of mind can fill them with hope, or courage or determination—whatever they really need at that moment. With attachment the two of us are suffering, with no way out.
The key to loving detachment is awareness. All life on Earth is based on awareness. We are a combination of soul and body. If I live with the awareness of being simply the body, if I base my sense of worth on the body I occupy and the roles I play, then I live a life full of need, desires, based on the ego of the body. If, however, I develop the awareness of being the soul, consciousness, an eternal light and immortal energy, using the body I have received for spiritual service, then I am naturally detached, and no longer have the desire for love and attention, approval and acceptance from anyone. Just as a flower simply exudes its fragrance—it matters not if the fragrance is accepted or not.
This, however, is only the key. The key opens the door to a relationship with the Supreme Soul. This is the real relationship of love. The love of the individual soul with the Supreme Soul. There is nothing sweeter. There is nothing more powerful. God is not affected by anything we are doing in our lives, yet keeps giving love, light and power to sustain. This relationship is deepened each time we turn our mind to that Soul, in meditation. Then we cannot be attracted, attached or influenced by anyone, anything or any place. We are free—free to live a life of unconditional, spiritual love.
B.K. Meera is director of the Brahma Kumaris’ services in Malaysia.