The Indian summer, an iconic global brand, never fails to deliver energy sapping and crankiness inducing heat. But for it, Britishers would have settled en masse in India during the British rule. The aam insaan suffers the most while the well-off create ‘Mini Shimlas’ in their homes and cars with the help of air-conditioning. But the elites do feel the heat when they have to be outdoors because air conditioners which can be carried on one’s back, are not available. What to talk of ‘sataye hue insaan’, even frogs, hogs and dogs beg with folded hands for the monsoon showers.
The monsoon does cool down the temperature a bit but it brings on the sticky weather. Miserly people get the chance to extract salt out of their own sweat. The makers of soft drinks and dealers of ACs love the hot weather and wish that winter never comes. A few days ago, I had to go to a market at 3 PM because the task couldn’t be postponed, ignored or delegated. I complained to the almighty- Why haven’t you planted me in a country with temperate climate? ‘Count your blessings too, you idiot,’ spoke a voice from the sky. Moments later, I met an old friend who had shifted long back to Canada. I expected him to badmouth the weather. But he acted as a contrarian. ‘I am so happy to be here. In Edmonton, we hardly sweat. How can we remain healthy if the body toxins aren’t removed
through sweating?’ I counted the pluses. To cope up with the heat, we get bribed with mangoes, watermelons, lemonades and beers.
No one labels you lazy during summer because lethargy can be attributed to heat. So, one can postpone all tasks, except extinguishing a fire and have siestas. A big glass of sweet buttermilk before hitting the bed would act like a honey trap for the sleep. Vacations are another boon. How I miss the summer vacations of my school days.
The holiday home-work was finished in the first few days of the vacation and from then on it was total aish in the company of cousins, friends, National 470 VCR and TV. Those days there were no smartphones but observations, conversations, confrontations and damnations made us smart. Nowadays, during vacation time, quite a few middle-class people rush to the few hill stations and create mayhem there. Apart from prevention of sunstroke and dehydration, there are some other considerations to keep in mind. If your spouse comes home late, do ask him or her, ‘What happened?’ But speak out these words only after a glass of chilled water and cool atmosphere of the room has cooled down the nervous system. Be extra cautious at the workplace too. The best way to beat the summer heat is to have ‘come on yaar, chill maar’ attitude!
Jas Kohli is a noted humour writer. His published work includes three bestselling humour novels- ‘Anything to Look Hot’, ‘Lights! Scalpel! Romance!’ and ‘Lights! Wedding! Ludhiana!’.
