Happy people don’t go about looking for why they are happy. But unhappy people seek reasons for their unhappiness. We hear a lot about well-being. People tell us to take care of our well-being. What, then, is well-being?
Usually, we know when we are not feeling well. But sometimes, what is causing us to feel unwell (not sick in the conventional sense, where one must visit a certified doctor) could be unclear to us. It could be a combination of many things, and we might be confused about what exactly is making us feel unhappy. Here, the phrases ‘being well’ and ‘being unwell’ aren’t to be taken literally but as an examination of the subtle states of our consciousness.
The first marker is that you are aware that you are not feeling too good about yourself, but you aren’t very clear on what’s wrong with you. Our own assessment of ourselves is extremely important. Once you are aware that you are unwell in some way, you need to check what could be causing this. In fact, there are six dimensions of well-being.
You may not be feeling physically fit. You may not have slept well the previous night, and you are irritable. Or, you may have indigestion and be feeling uneasy. You could have overworked and are feeling tired.
If everything is fine on the physical level, you need to examine your mental and emotional state. Are there too many things you are grappling with and feeling overwhelmed? Are you allowing others to walk over you? Do you have trouble saying no? Are you letting people overstep your boundaries? You might have had an argument with someone. Your relationships may be strained. You might be tense about an examination, presentation, project, or interview coming up. Sit still, take deep breaths, meditate, and calm the racing mind.
What about your financial state and material stability? These are uncertain times. Thousands of people are being laid off. You may be stressed about your future. You might be worried about bills to pay or the inability to give a good life to your loved ones. When you are overwhelmed, you cannot deal with things logically. You need to bring discipline and structure to your day. Do not hesitate to ask for help and advice at work, from trusted family members, or from friends. Divide the day’s tasks into small, baby steps and deal with things one small step at a time.
If all is well at the physical and material levels, you’ll need to look deeper within. Are you satisfied with the life you lead? Do you feel stuck in a rut that you cannot get out of? Frustration with yourself can become a constant source of restlessness. You may have everything you need, but you could still feel a lack and an emptiness.
In fact, that’s the next criteria for well-being. Frustration arises from unfulfilled desires. One needs to learn to be content. If one lives a virtuous life, has simple needs and good character, and hasn’t harmed, deceived, or taken advantage of innocent people, then one is usually peaceful and content.
The next criteria for well-being is having close friendships and a strong community network. Are you taking time to give something back to the local community that you live in, or are you one of those who simply criticises and does not contribute to society at all? Armchair critics, by and large, are bitter and unhappy.
You need to get involved in something greater than yourself. You need a higher purpose. Many people spend time cleaning beaches, feeding stray animals, helping at old age homes or orphanages, cooking and serving food to the poor, going door-to-door collecting books and old clothes for the homeless, etc. They have such joy on their faces! Serving the community and doing good selflessly is an important way to attain well-being.
This brings us to the last and possibly most important thing to examine. Do you feel you have meaning and purpose in your life? You may have given up on your dreams and are living a life that others have chosen for you. Meaning and purpose will give you joy and happiness. Find something you are passionate about. It may not bring you income, but it will bring you immense happiness. You may not be physically healthy or have enough money, but if you have meaning and purpose, you have hope. and that will certainly bring you joy and make you feel good about yourself.
Deepam Chatterjee is a teacher, writer, storyteller and corporate speaker, integrating Modern Life Lessons with Military History, Hindu Scriptures, Mythology and Mysticism. He can be contacted on deepamchatterjee@yahoo.co.in