The narrative of an ambitious woman not making a good mother is changing at a breakneck speed. As more urban women are joining the workforce, they have begun donning the role of the nurturer and the provider. Unlike the past, many mothers now have a say in the choice of the school a family decides to enroll their child. With this shift in economic power, the age-old family system which is essentially based on patriarchal values is slowly being upturned. The advertising and marketing companies are also targeting this new market that has no space for an ill-informed mother.
The marketing campaigns are interestingly no longer a reflection of the quintessential, ever-suffering, docile and always seen as the Aloo Puri cooking mother. Now is the age of the glossy yummy mummy who gyms, goes to the parlour, attends brunches and also manages to juggle the parent-teacher meeting between her work schedules.
The new mothers are now packing quite the punch and the lunch with equal passion.
Family dynamics too have changed as working women are finally pulling out their phones from their multipocketed bags to a new world of digital payment that makes life, even more, easier for them as they juggle life’s demands.
With the pandemic, social interactions have also changed. Pediatricians can be consulted over a video call. This helps the mother navigate between the pressures of managing work and family. According to Dr Sandeep Jathanna, a pediatrician from Bangalore, “mothers are very informed about the prognosis of any illness the child has. One can find many fathers too who bring their child to my clinic, for regular health checkups, which wasn’t the norm earlier. It is day by day becoming a joint effort in raising a child.”
As more studies reveal that single parenting is almost becoming the norm across families in India, divorce rates are at an all-time high. In 2019 – 2020 report by UN Women, in India, the number of “lone mothers” is rising, with 4.5% (approximately 13 million) of all Indian households that are run by single mothers.
The new change found among many younger women is that they are no longer interested in becoming a biological mother. The clock can be happily ticking away, is the general thought. Therefore many of them decide to channelise the motherly love towards animals. Motherhood is now finally not restricted to human babies alone.
The internet is abuzz with cute photos of dog parents who celebrate their pet’s birthdays and also take them out for spa and family holidays.
As motherhood is changing, fatherhood too is automatically now being forced to pull up its socks and join the bandwagon of being the new age father. Therefore many men have begun supporting their wives with their career demands and also contributing towards the nurturing of the child. Though this is still at its nascent stage as India still remains a patriarchal nation. But many men can nowadays be seen changing nappies along with their wives.
For the first time therapy is being sought out by mothers for postpartum depression. Women are no longer shamed to seek help from psychologists, as some find it difficult to express and manage the body and mood changes post childbirth. These attitude shifts are specifically being seen among women residing in the major metros of India.
With more cat mothers and dog mothers, motherhood is being recognised and celebrated beyond the caesarian, forceps or natural child birth. A kennel can be a place too to bring home a baby.
Mothers have also started to defy age and can be seen wearing the same kind of clothing as their teenage daughters. Many film stars like Kareena Kapoor, Neha Dhupia and Alia Bhatt are openly celebrating motherhood as a rite to passage in womanhood. This was not seen in the past in Bollywood, where most heroines believed that their career would come to a grinding halt if they came out in public with their marriage or pregnancy.
As more mothers don many hats, here is hoping that this isn’t another ploy of advertisers to keep pushing the bar for a woman to outperform from before. As the invisible envelope to multitask is being pushed further and further, may a mother not burn out between managing a career, home, social life and her child’s colic.
Lastly motherhood is undoubtedly a beautiful journey but it is best enjoyed with the help of a trusted nanny, a supportive family system and a group of school mommy friends who can be a great bunch of people to seek advice and guidance from when faced with any difficult situation.
Mohua Chinappa is an author and also runs a podcast called The Mohua Show