With the convenience of digital communications at virtually everyone’s fingertips, it’s hardly surprising that some teenagers abuse it as a means to bully people online and on social media.
Think about it: even adults act like bullies online, especially on social media. Imagine how awful it can get among young people who haven’t had a chance to develop the emotional regulation skills of adults. Their brains are still forming, including their frontal lobes which are responsible for limiting mood swings and impulsive behavior.
So we know that if adults can be horrible online, kids and teenagers have the potential to be even worse. Their victims are other kids and teenagers who, unlike most adults, may lack the resiliency and social connections to deal with bullying behavior. They often simply suffer in silence.
But there is reason for hope. Stand for the Silent is a nonprofit organization founded in 2010 whose sole purpose is to address bullying – both online and off. Founded by empathetic students in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, SFTS was born out of the tragic loss of Ty Smalley, who took his own life after enduring two years of relentless bullying. Ty’s parents, Kirk and Laura Smalley, made it their mission to do everything they could to prevent such a tragedy from befalling other families. Together with the students in Oklahoma City, they brought Stand for the Silent to life.
Fast forward to 2024, and Kirk Smalley continues to bring his message to young people across America. The SFTS program provides awareness, education, and resources to participating schools. These messages have been presented at more than 6,000 schools and to over 4 million students. In 2010, the Smalleys even met with President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama as part of the inaugural White House conference on bullying.
The virtual threat posed by online bullies is as real and dangerous as that found in schoolyards and on neighborhood streets and playgrounds.
Cyberbullying takes on many familiar forms: culture shaming, body shaming, slut shaming, and grade shaming. Those terms may sound a bit different from the pre-online world, but not much has changed. Insulting someone’s race or ethnicity, physical appearance, sexuality, and intelligence is sadly proving to be timeless, no matter the medium. Here’s a breakdown on their meanings in the context of cyberbullying:
Culture Shaming: Refers to an interaction in which a person is demeaned based on their race, ethnicity or socio-economic background; the fallout can result in isolation and alienation, sometimes leading to self-harming behaviors by the victim which may include substance abuse and more.
Body Shaming: Refers to insulting or demeaning a person based on their physical appearance including body shape and size. This type of cyberbullying can lead to a cycle of self-judgment and self-criticism that can be lifelong, undermining the victims’ self-worth over many decades. In the short run, it can cause pain and a lack of self-esteem that can lead to isolation and self-harm.
Slut Shaming: Typically refers to cyberbullying vulnerable girls through debasement and humiliation where they are depicted as sexual objects on social media. Visual representations with sometimes explicit original content including photos and videos that are shared among peers can cause devastation for victims and lead to alienation and self-harm.
Grade Shaming: Regardless of whether it is high grades or low grades, no one should ever be bullied based on their performance or achievement in school. Students often develop at varying paces and not everyone learns in the same way.
The Stand for the Silent method for addressing bullying is fact-based and emotional. Kirk Smalley, the program mentor, works with student leaders to share stories on the topic and relate cautionary tales on the potential tragedies that bullying can produce. The program aims to sensitize students by giving them information and empowering them with tools and resources.
Schools are provided with an anti-bullying curriculum, a cyberbullying handbook, and more.
As digital communication continues to be a central part of young people’s lives, it’s important for kids and their families to educate themselves on cyberbullying and work to ensure victims do not suffer in silence.
