How we perceive ourselves as an individual determines, to a great extent, the course of the development of our unique identity. This identity includes aspects such as personality traits, beliefs, values, and experiences. Our self-awareness affects our sense of purpose and our place in society. In addition to influencing how we behave in various situations, interact with others, and make decisions, it influences our personal growth and development. When we understand ourselves deeply, we can actively work on self-improvement.
Self-improvement is usually taken to mean learning new skills or addressing and overcoming personal challenges. To do this we are usually advised to examine ourselves to identify our weaknesses so that we know what is lacking within us. Once that is done, we draw up a plan to overcome the shortcoming. Implementing the plan may involve challenges as old habits, attitudes, and beliefs repeatedly pull us back to our old ways. In some cases, our family, friends, and colleagues may disapprove of or even oppose a change in us which they think is unnecessary or undesirable. In all these cases we set about trying to overcome the challenges. How we choose to do that may itself set us back if we become dispirited or confrontational. Such tests may lead us to conclude that self-improvement is difficult or well-nigh impossible.
There is, however, an easier way. If we change the way we see the self, the improvement we want will happen from within. This does not mean having fanciful ideas about our qualities or worth. It is about recognising, accepting, and appreciating our true identity – that we are souls, not bodies – and being aware of it at all times as we go about our daily life.
The human soul is innately pure, peaceful, and loving. That is why we feel comfortable and happy when we experience these qualities. On the other hand, experiences that take us away from purity, peace, and love cause distress and sorrow. Past experiences of various kinds, including the mistakes we have made, distort our vision of the self and we end up regarding ourselves as unworthy. We accept all the flaws we spot in the self as a part of our being. “This is how I am” we think. Then, when we look at the world from this inferior standpoint, we become disappointed and defensive, or aggressive if we want to show ourselves – and others – that we are no less than anyone else.
We can avoid these miseries and inner battles simply by remembering who I really am – a soul who is originally pure, peaceful, and powerful. The life story that has coloured my view of the self is just the set of experiences that I have had in the recent past. It does not define who I am. A diamond covered in dust after rolling in it does not cease to be a diamond. The dust is a temporary overlay that can be removed to reveal the diamond’s sparkle.
When we look beyond our story to focus on our original self and qualities and keep reminding ourselves of the same, the way we feel about the self, changes. Our perspective on the world, and our behaviour, also change. When I believe and feel that I am a pure, peaceful, and powerful soul, that reality is naturally expressed in my words and actions. I do not have to make any effort to do that. The key is my self-awareness. When that changes, my life is transformed.
B.K. Dr Savita is a Rajyoga teacher at the Brahma Kumaris headquarters in Abu Road, Rajasthan.