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parenting with e-device

Mobile is a boon and not a bane for numerous reasons, but when it comes to the Zen generation of parents raising the Alpha generation it becomes befuddlement for many. On the one side these parents are against screen time in schools, online schooling and excessive time spent on phones, tablets or I-pad for games, […]

Mobile is a boon and not a bane for numerous reasons, but when it comes to the Zen generation of parents raising the Alpha generation it becomes befuddlement for many. On the one side these parents are against screen time in schools, online schooling and excessive time spent on phones, tablets or I-pad for games, on the other side when use of the same gadget be convenient for them, they allow it to keep their children for disturbing them. Consider following incidents (real life):
1. At a fine dining Chinese restaurant with a bar (where alcoholic drinks are served), a young couple takes a table with their 6-7 years old daughter. The daughter wants the mobile to play games and the parents refuse. They fuss over her so as to what she wants to eat etc. After a while, the order was placed and soon there were two beer glasses on the table. Now, the scenario changes and the child is handed a mobile to play games and eat the ‘Cheeslings’ (a kind of dry snack, served complementarity by the restaurant) to keep busy. The child stuffed her face with a handful of cheeslings and got engrossed with the mobile while the parents got engrossed in themselves. After a while, the child got bored and started playing with the cheeselings, throwing it all around the restaurant. Strangely the parents were far from noticing or correcting the child. The child was completely ignored because the parents had handed over the mobile to her.
2. At the airport, a child is desperately seeking his mother’s attention, but she is on a long call. She keeps dismissing the child. The child becomes restless, and starts playing around, disturbing other passengers waiting for boarding to start. The mother fishes out an I-pad from her bag and hands it over to the child for him to stop troubling her. After a while, the child is engrossed in the game and has forgotten that he was feeling hungry and was asking his mom for the packet of biscuits in her purse.
3. A child of primary class was brought to the principal’s office as the child was complaining of a severe stomach-ache. The friendly principal started conversing with the child to find out the reason for the stomach-ache and asked some questions to the child, “Did you have breakfast dear?” The child replied in affirmation. “What did you eat for breakfast?” The child was quiet.  She tried again, “Was it eggs? Did you have milk?” The child was quiet. “Poha or Idli?” No answer. “Porridge?” No answer. Suddenly it stuck her. She asked, “What were you doing while having the breakfast?” The child replied, “I was watching a story on YouTube.” Now, the principal realised that the child was unaware of what went in the mouth while the child was busy on mobile. She had to call the mother to find out and inform her of the ailment.
Parents proudly announce that their 18 months baby knows how to operate an I-phone and demands the rhymes and stories of their choice as they know it all. Is that really something to be proud of?
As we accept the fact that today’s generation is surrounded by gadgets and they open their eyes only to blink at a mobile clicking their picture and recording a video of their first moment outside the mother’s womb. Is it safe for them to carry on their relationship with mobiles to such a great extent? Are we partnering with an electronic device as co-parents for the parenting journey? Is it our dependency or the dependency of a child? Who is to be blamed for the addiction? We are overexposing the little ones too soon and all for our convenience.
Let us think again and introspect if this is what we dreamt of when we decided to become parents. My advice is for parents to be more involved with their children physically and mentally and enjoy the parenting journey together.

Smriti Agrawal is an award-winning author, specialized in early childhood parenting.

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