“No decision – is a wrong decision …!”
Actually, nothing is ever wrong – it just is. Indecision causes a lot of stress and it is better to make a decision rather than keep suffering the stress. It is often the fear of failure that makes us paralysed and unable to make a decision. Failure can make me wise, resilient, and strong. What needs to be dealt with is not the indecisiveness, but all the influences that are bringing pressure to bear on me from my insecurity and past habits, that are stopping me from making decisions.
Some people might be considered to be decisive. If we look deeper though, it is more than likely that the decisiveness involved issues that were not directly or personally affecting them. These kinds of people are able to appraise a situation quickly and see exactly what is required. These same people, though, may agonise over very small things that directly affect them, and agonise afterwards, wondering if it was the right decision or not.
There are many elements that can obstruct our decision-making. Self-doubt plays a big part in this, and often springs from past experiences where things did not turn out as well as we had hoped for. Often, we have an invested interest in the outcome of a decision, or we have a wish to be accepted, acknowledged, or approved of, and this can interfere with making the best decision.
Spiritually speaking, though, as a spiritual being, a soul, I naturally and automatically have the ability to discern, and therefore decide. Our ability to understand and perceive our past, present, and future is intrinsic to our spiritual nature. The part of the soul that has this power is the intellect. This does not refer to anything ‘intellectual’ – many people have refined intellectual capacities, but their personal lives are in a mess. The intellect of the soul is the part that is able to reason and comprehend beyond what is presently in front of it. It is absolutely aware of what is best and most beneficial for the self, the soul, not just right now, but in the future too. Every single human being has this ability, but it has become clouded and remains only latent. Long ago we stopped listening to our intellect, or conscience. Our mind, the part of the soul that races around and seeks comfort and emotional highs and pleasurable experiences, has overridden the wisdom of the voice of conscience so many times, that the voice is barely audible, and has retreated into the background. The outcome of this is feelings of dissatisfaction, and long-term emptiness. There is no longer any discernment, and it is then that we find we no longer trust our own judgement.
I am a product of all the decisions I have made in my life, or over many lives. I have accumulated a personality full of sorrow, dissatisfaction, unhappiness, and emptiness. If I want to change this and acquire the clarity and power in the intellect to make decisions that will bring me great benefit, I have to become introspective, and check with myself what it is that is informing my decisions, when faced with them. The intellect (head) and the mind (heart) have to be working in unison. We need to find a way to be very quiet, to reflect and to regain confidence in the self. When I recognise that I am a spiritual being who has the answers to everything beyond time and space, then I have the understanding of what is needed. In meditation, tapping into my connection with the Supreme Spirit, the Supreme Soul, God, allows me to tap into my bigger self. This bigger self has a wide-open heart and a far-reaching intellect and has no place for self-centred or selfish decision-making. It has a consciousness that encompasses all. Everything that is happening is meant to be, whatever it is that is happening. I accept it and grow with it – I am at peace.
Manda Patel is a Rajyoga teacher based at the Brahma Kumaris Global Retreat Centre, Oxford, UK.