Most of the readers will be familiar with this childhood poem and many of us have actually stood before the mirror with our siblings or friends and recited the same. What started off for many as a game has today become a reality … we are multi cultured , diversified nation with different religions, castes, languages but the one thing that even today keeps us apart is our “skin color”
The moment we are born the first thing the parents, grandparents, relatives will notice is the skin color, if the child is fair, they heave a sigh of relief and cheer, but if the child is dark or even wheatish there is a deadly silence and worries begin – how are we going to face society? How will she find a husband? What will people say etc. India’s obsession with fair skin is deep -rooted. Majority of the Indians believe that skin color determines a person’s worth and status in society, in our culture all virtues are associated with “being fair” and anything dark has negative connotations. The entire life and future of the girl depends on her color, it is her color which will determine her marriage, job, and her future children. It does not make a difference if the groom is dark but the bride has to be fair and if their daughter is born dark the blame falls conveniently on the girl’s parents and on the girl. This fear is so inborn in the girl right from birth, she is told to stay indoors, not go out in the sun, apply haldi, milk etc so that she becomes fair and lovely.
Major hand in this is our advertising attracting and luring the women with their advertisements of fair and lovely, fairness beauty soaps and creams and we get lured and trapped into their trap. Thousands are spent on fairness treatments with no positive results.
It’s time to change the way we look at the women in our society and stop being judgmental about their color. If the definition of beauty is a flawless face without scars, with a lighter skin tone, then society is lying to itself. The definition of beautiful holds a much broader slant then just having a light skin tone.
So the next time someone tell you to recite the poem “mirror mirror on the wall, whose the fairest of us all” give the following reply “ I don’t need to ask the mirror if I am fair or beautiful, I know I am, because my heart and soul is fair and beautiful. Let us think and ask questions like what beauty is? Who decides that I am beautiful or not? Why and where is the need for another person to tell us we are fair and beautiful? And why are we constantly comparing ourselves with others.
The next time someone says you are dark… just look them in the eye and say…I am a masterpiece created by God himself.
Bhavani Sundaram is based in Delhi and is a freelance writer.