The sight of an electric vehicle on the road used to make me feel like a ‘neech insaan’- one who drove a car fuelled by fossil fuels. That was until I read in an article that electric vehicles aren’t as angelic as they are supposed to be because massive amounts of fossil fuels are being used during the various steps for the production of lithium-ion batteries. Shh…. the consumer need not know this and the companies which manufacture electric vehicles can claim to be ‘doodh ki dhuli hui’.
Solar energy also isn’t that goody goody. There are reports that if lesser amount of sunlight reaches the ground in a large area, there could be a change in microclimate. Wind turbines not only create a lot of noise but often clip the wings of the winged creatures.
Moreover, reduction of global warming tackles only one issue. The others will remain- deforestation, air pollution, soil and water pollution, water shortage, mounds of garbage, microplastics in food chain etc. Innumerable species of plants and animals will become museum pieces. Recycling of plastics is a big scam- to do so requires lot of energy and water. Jaago insaan jaago! The only way the earth will get cleaned up is by massive reduction in consumption and radical changes in our lifestyles. But roti, kapda and makaan is passe. Acchi Roti, fashionable kapda and bada makaan is in. Add to that an envy generating SUV, Instagrammable holidays and a new digital device for every new season. We would never stop saying ‘party ho jaaye’ at the drop of a hat. In fact, most humans are like a horse with blinkers- with a tubular vision focused on earning big bucks.
There is a ray of hope- reduction in population in many countries because of decrease in birth rate. But this irks some of the economists who behave as if someone is kicking their butt. GDP is their darling. Chirping of birds and sound of waterfalls has no economic value. Also, the nationalists cry hoarse about the possibility of a dent in the clout of the nation following depopulation. The Japanese are famous for cars, robots, ramen, manners and oddities. Nowadays the Japanese government is playing cupid by setting up speed dating centres at its own cost to coax youngsters to cohabit and hopefully to procreate. The Chinese authorities are also planning to incentivise (bribe) couples who produce kids. There is no such worry for some African countries where there are an average of more than four live births per women. So, Homo sapiens’ numbers aren’t falling as a whole. When I was in Masai Mara, Kenya, I asked my tour guide, ‘How many children you have?’ He replied, ‘Children are God’s gift. So, I don’t keep a count of them!’
So, what is the solution? My head is spinning! There is no solution in sight. Already, frustrated environmentalists have started resorting to bizarre acts like throwing tomato soup on Van Gogh paintings to draw attention of those in power and the common citizens as well.
One day you might find me in the news- charge-sheeted as a conspirator for an eco-terrorist group!
Jas Kohli is a noted humour writer. He is the author of three bestselling humour novels, ‘Lights! Wedding! Ludhiana!’, ‘Lights! Scalpel! Romance!’, and ‘Anything to Look Hot’.
