Q. What is your Super Power?
A. Today it has become commonplace to talk about things not turning out the way we want them. Across so many variables, dissatisfaction remains a major reason for unhappiness. Keeping in mind the many ways in which patience is tested during life, are we justified in expecting a certain outcome each time? The bigger question here is whether the outcome is really unhappy or perhaps the reaction is more unhappy. In the final analysis, grief, along with so many others, is also a relative emotion. Oscar Wilde wrote, “The emotions of man are stirred more quickly than man’s intelligence. “ A quick look around is sufficient to provide evidence as the support of this observation.
Every confrontation or act of anger happens due to this emotional upheaval. But when push comes to shove, the average homo sapien gets shaken and not stirred, as our dear 007 would put it. A few second pause is all that is needed to remain un-shaken and just a teeny-weeny bit of stirring can help one understand the pitfalls of reacting in emotion. Psychology recommends a twenty second pause before reacting to any emotional trigger such as a car smash up or an angry colleague. The ones who follow this say it works. In fact, practitioners of the pause claim that the calm down of emotion is possible with practice.
The duration of phases differs from person to person but the sequence is more or less uniform: a few seconds of intense feeling followed by some seconds of reasoning which builds up a sense of acceptance that finally leads to peace in the mind. Many people recommend deep breathing during this twenty-second patch of time. In recent times, there is fresh upsurge in questioning and introspection related to leadership and education. Most thinking beings are ruminating on the qualities of a leader and the kind of mentorship the world needs today.
It seems as if our experience during the challenge of the pandemic has unleashed a wave of rethinking and recreating. Whereas earlier most educationists were satisfied with imparting knowledge, they are now becoming sceptical about the whole paradigm and ecosystem of knowledge gathering and dissemination. At the confluence of these doubts stands the question: is confidence and capability sufficient? The answer has begun to crystallise at many a forum: calm is the superpower that empowers most talents. Remaining calm and encouraging others to follow suit is one of the toughest tasks in times of challenge.
Emotional intelligence is now at the top of the list of abilities required for success. In simple terms, it is the capability to handle and manage one’s own emotions and of those around one. Calmness is the conduit to emotional intelligence that creates an environment that permits creative thought and problem solving. Rick Stengel, who worked on Nelson Mandela’s autobiography, was traveling with him in a one-engine small plane in 1994. Twenty minutes before landing, the engine began to fail. Everyone was in a state of panic but Mandela continued to read his newspaper, completely impervious to the turmoil around him. Ultimately, the pilot managed to land safely. Once off the plane, Mandela said to Stengel, “Man, I was terrified up there!” If this is terror, what is calm?
The author is a Professor Department of English and Cultural Studies Panjab University Chandigarh