It is simple to be happy, but it is difficult to be simple.
Being simple and uncomplicated in our thinking, speech, and lifestyle helps us live a happy life. The simpler we are, the less we would need to worry about other people and situations. We would neither make unnecessary assumptions about people’s motives nor spend our time and energy in planning how to respond to them. In contrast, the more pretentious we are, the further we move away from real happiness. Being simple does not mean being naïve or gullible. When our mind is calm and free from the clutter of excessive thoughts, we are able to discern the vibrations coming from other people and know what they mean, and respond appropriately. This also keeps relationships light and easy.
We should also recognise and accept the truth that being happy or otherwise is in our hands. It is not other people or situations that give or take away our happiness – it is the way we perceive them. The Gita tells us that the soul is its own friend and its own enemy. It takes some people a lot of time to digest this fact. We usually blame others for our unhappiness, “They did this…”, or “This is what happened today, that is why…”. It is up to us to magnify situations – make a mountain out of a molehill – or take them in our stride. Depending on how we see and respond to a situation, we have a good or bad experience.
Therefore, we cannot blame others for our unhappiness. Other people or circumstances are not the real cause of our anger – they only give us the push that brings out the anger that was already within us. If we are carrying a cup of tea and we stumble, it is tea that will be spilled, not coffee. Similarly, when people or situations give us a jolt, what comes out of us, in the form of thoughts, emotions, speech, and behaviour, is what lies within us. If there is anger inside, we will react angrily. A peaceful person would react peacefully. The anger or peace are not created by external factors; we carry them within and they are expressed in such circumstances.
The solution is to change ourselves, not expect others to change for our sake. In life, there can be all sorts of situations; we cannot expect to have everything our way all the time. Difficult people and circumstances will test us; what matters is how we handle them. This is where spirituality comes in. Rajyoga teaches us to create positive thoughts that empower us and help to keep us stable at all times. When we recognise the fact that we are the masters of our thoughts and emotions and consciously practise creating positive thoughts, we gradually gain greater control over our mind and are able to respond to people and situations more peacefully and rationally. As we gain sovereignty over the self, we experience a newfound freedom – we are no longer slaves to our emotions, or puppets in the hands of other people and situations. This freedom brings dignity, and the ability to face the ups and downs of life with stability.
Dr. Sachin Parab is a counsellor, hypnotherapist, and corporate trainer who has been practising and teaching Rajyoga meditation for the last 27 years.