Feeling lonely is a state of disconnection from the true self and the world around me. Thoughts revolve in a never-ending spiral of negativity. Feelings of sadness, melancholy and hopelessness combined with anxiety, worry, and fear. Prolonged loneliness can lead to depression, a much more serious state of mind. The underlying beliefs that trigger this disconnect and painful feeling of not belonging anywhere, are many and include:
Others do not understand me …
Others do not accept me …
Others should do something to help me …
Others do not respect me …
I have no value …
I have no worth …
On the other hand, while loneliness can be experienced when either physically alone or even in the presence of many others, being literally alone can be a positive experience. It can be rejuvenating, refreshing, and fulfilling. It will all depend on where our attention is focused. Where attention goes, energy flows and life grows.
If we focus our attention on the outside, on how people are behaving, what they are wearing, what they are saying, then, and especially if we are criticising them, we will feel a huge depletion of energy. So, we need to give inner attention all our focus. This is the ability to direct our attention towards our thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations. It means to be aware of one’s inner experience without any judgement or evaluation, simply observing – because our observations will show us a great deal about ourselves.
To do this in a comprehensive and sustainable way, we need spirituality. We need to be aware of our spiritual identity, to understand the spiritual dimension. When we reflect that we are much more than what we can see with our physical eyes, that we are spiritual beings, then a whole new dimension of understanding becomes visible. This is the key point to overcome loneliness. We realise the great potential we have for true peace and love, and a new wisdom becomes our reality, with a subtle process of dealing with emotions and difficult situations. Of course, all this does not happen instantaneously.
It takes time and practice, but we begin to enjoy our own company, and watch the spiritual power grow little by little. It is a truly fascinating pattern of growth and understanding and there is no time to be lonely.
It is through meditation that this spiritual awareness and focus can happen. Meditation is not a technique, more like an attitude towards life and a training to explore our invisible world within and the impact that has on our life and on others.
I, the living consciousness of light, can connect with the Divine consciousness in meditation, connect with a higher intelligence in silence. In this I can create the invisible but real and practical relationship with the Supreme Intelligence and all feelings of sadness or loneliness gradually disappear forever. In its place I become a wise, knowledgeable, compassionate, and powerful benevolent being with the capacity to love not only myself, but all the souls of the world.
Enrique Simo is an executive coach and coordinates the
_activities of the Brahma Kumaris’ Spanish headquarters in Madrid.