Long ago, two best friends went on a trip to Delhi. One had already seen most of the tourist hotspots while the other one was going for the first time. They bickered constantly because Sharan wanted to see everything while Kamal wanted to skip what he had already seen. They have never talked ever since. Usually, we jump at the opportunity to have a vacation with friends or relatives because that is supposed to bind everyone in a lifelong ‘bandhan’. But ‘the more the merrier’ will hold true only if one is aware of the pitfalls of holidaying in a group. When families comprising members of all ages begin a trip, everyone is humming their favourite tune. But confusion starts right from the loading of the multiple suitcases and bags in the cabs. Not just pieces of luggage, even persons have been left behind. U-turns need to be made- as suddenly as the ones made by the politicians. If one is travelling in personal vehicle, the choice of music may become a sore point. Contemporary film music seems like noise to the generation brought up on Chitrahaar, while timeless melodies don’t fire the neurons of the auditory cortex of the younger generation. One solution is for everyone to use earphones and play their own music. As for us, we play the choice of our son and daughter on the onward journey and have our way on the return journey (at that time everyone is depressed and sleepy at the prospect of going back to the routine life and old film songs often act like a sleeping pill) After the hotel or resort is reached, one may find variation in the rooms. Whispers about favouritism may emanate. The one who has taken pains for arranging the trip often ends up volunteering for the worst room. So, everyone has settled. What to do? Youngsters with raging hormones want to do river rafting, bungee jumping or paragliding but the patriarch, who is under the illusion of being in control, thinks this is foolhardy. The youngsters sulk and decide that they will never participate in a family holiday again. They try to pass time with their darlings- the digital devices. But the parents start lecturing them about the need for them to take a digital detox. While some soak in the scenery and lower their heart rate to below sixty, other feel there is nothing to do. So, to pass time, they start drinking without waiting for the sunset. An inebriated state is reached soon and family secrets are leaked. Sometimes the conversations are overheard and the situation turns so volatile that the trip has to be terminated. At other times the kids fight amongst themselves. If a parent intervenes there is an equal and opposite reaction. There is always a photography addict in the group who is constantly asking everyone to assemble at different places for a group photograph. Multiple shots are taken because the perfectionist doesn’t compromise. Some develop sunburn because of prolonged sun exposure while others develop cramps in the abdominal muscles while trying to appear slim. Then there are late risers who make everyone wait. Sometimes the oldies decide to join in a trek. But start huffing and puffing. Everyone has to stop for them and the group may have to turn back.
Jas Kohli is a noted humour writer. He is the author of three bestselling humour novels, ‘Lights! Wedding! Ludhiana!’, ‘Lights! Scalpel! Romance!’, and ‘Anything to Look Hot’.