“That’s the thing about pain, it demands to be heard.” Ever heard of this phrase? In the world of generic statements, some stand painfully true and this one certainly takes the cake. A human brain is a complicated machine, dealing with intricate details of everyday life. We depend on it to deal with difficult or rather overwhelming situations but as no human life stands on its own, we depend on our loved ones to sail through life. Grief and loss have an overwhelming impact on one’s mental state, it may vary on its impact but its effect cannot be denied or looked over. There is no correct way to deal with grief and loss since the process is, at its core, all about coming to terms with the loss of a life you cared for deeply. The feelings of loneliness, despair, and anger are common emotions during this phase and may vary in its severity. While society expects this mourning to be short-lived, it can be overwhelming for some individuals.
The loss of a loved one may augment the underlying issues a person has and exacerbate his or her predicament. To hide and in an attempt to overcome the pain and despair one might turn to substance abuse and use it as an escape mechanism. Although it may seem that the escape mechanisms help, in reality, they don’t do anything for the array of emotions one experiences in the period of grief and can’t uncover the permeating thoughts about the deceased and put a finger on the real underlying problem. The loss might be an indication to the person of things falling apart and might lead to a domino effect where things only get worse. The prolonged feelings of sadness and hopelessness are a clear sign of depression and something that needs to be taken seriously and not simply shrugged off.
Grief is a personal matter and unfortunately, one is often stripped of their right to deal with it in their own manner and time.
One is expected to be sad for an ‘acceptable period’ and then go on about their lives. The act of prolonged sadness is frowned upon by others and one might find it to be unnatural too. So we bury ourselves with the mundane activities of everyday life, trying to get back to the old routine and hope to someday succeed in our endeavours. However, it is the worst course of action for some and they might find themselves to be numb and unable to perform the simplest of tasks. Grieving is an expression of one’s loss and it is healthy to express it rather than suppressing it. It may seem easier to avoid the pain but someday the current may appear to be too strong and you are forever in danger of being swept by it. Grief does not only have a mental impact, it is something that is accompanied by physical symptoms too. Sleep deprivation, loss of appetite, and loss of energy to do anything can be a sign that you are suffering. If not looked after, it can trigger psychological problems too including anxiety attacks, depression, and in severe cases suicide.
In times of emotional despair, our brain is our only vital ally, it helps us to cope with the ghastly realities of life but in cases where one is unable to come to terms with the apparent face of grief, it is essential to take measures and seek the much-needed help. The nature of this help can vary. It might help to surround yourself with people whom you love and trust. To understand there is no shame in reaching out, and if things get worse, it is more than important to seek professional help. We perceive the world through our brain and fogging it with unalterable reality will only harm it. Yes, pain asks to be felt and that’s the only way to move forward.
While it may seem a huge abyss to climb out of, there are various things a person could do to overcome and cope with grief. Some of these ways are:
1. Make Self Care Your Priority: It may be overwhelming to let things slip through your fingers and it may seem that the world is ending and crumbling right in front of your eyes. However, in such a situation a person should try and focus only on himself/herself. If you eat and sleep well and have a fixed workout routine, it gives your body a better chance to recuperate with loss and grief.
2. Reach Out: There is no shame in asking for help from your friends and family. It helps you express your emotions in a much better way and this also makes sure that these people keep a constant check on you.
3. Take A Break: Everyday life can be hectic and demands you to stay on your toes at all times. It is almost necessary to take a break from your mundane lifestyle to deal with your grief in a better way. One should not force himself/herself to get back on the everyday lifestyle as quickly as possible and instead take time according to his/her needs.
The writer is a digital marketer and author of ‘Maroon In A Sky Of Blue’.
