Visualize a typical scenario- a group of friends are socializing. But the conversation is as bland as the diet given to patients in the hospitals. Suddenly, the name of a common friend (whose personality is exceptionally atypical) crops up in the context of something. The scenario changes as quickly as it does when the hero enters the villain’s den to rescue the damsel in distress (in a movie of course). Everyone joins in- rather there is congestion of the conversation traffic. The faces brighten up and sometimes so much laughter is generated that people spill liquids out of their mouth (especially if they are tipsy). In our college, there were few boys and girls about whom it was said that you could talk about them for a lifetime.
Small talk is big. Talking about movies, sports, fashion, cars, or complimenting each-others looks and dress is a safe bet. Of course, gossiping is the clear winner. The best way to excite someone’s curiosity is to give a hint about a saucy revelation. The listener will beg you to reveal everything.
Everyone looks forward to the reunions of schoolmates and collegemates for a reason. Here, only the incorrigible geeks reflect on their life stories and life lessons. Otherwise, one reminisces about the funny incidents and interactions with the teachers and classmates. The past is relived by recalling the craziness of those times (which will never return, just like the paging devices).
However, small talk has a few side effects too- like the spread of news which ought to be brushed under the carpet (this could be labelled as back-biting). The most jeopardous line is- this is between you and me. There is rapid transmission of the ‘secret’ by repetition of ‘this is between you and me’ and ultimately even the watchman of the colony comes to knows about it.
A few years ago, I gave an interview to a journalist regarding my journey as an author. I ended up telling her much more than I should have done. For the sake of damage control, I told her, ‘Please don’t print the last part of my interview. Consider it as off the record.’ Later on, another journalist, who overheard the conversation, warned me, ‘There is nothing off the record in media!’
Do talk about post-modernism, carbon credits or black holes only if conversing with a like-minded person. Otherwise, one risks being labelled as a social allergen. Political discussions often result in verbal duels. Also, a man should avoid commenting on the weight of a lady and a lady should never compare a man with another man (in any aspect)- otherwise high decibel fireworks are guaranteed.
Once I was with a group of friends and we were gossiping about a ‘mahapurush’. Suddenly, he turned up unannounced. We changed the topic. But to our relief he acted as if nothing had happened. Later, he revealed to me that he had feigned not to have heard anything. ‘I am doing social service by making you guys happy,’ he grinned.
Man is a social animal (a woman even more so) and gossip is an excellent lubricant for social interaction!