When we look at our face in the mirror, the thing to note is not whether there is a pimple or a white hair – that is trivial. Instead, we can check whether there is peace or anxiety, ego or humility visible on the face. That reveals our state of mind. This is the face that matters, not the beautiful mask we create with make-up. We need to look at the real face and change it from within. Our thoughts create our beauty, health, relationships, and the atmosphere at home – in other words, our world. I am the one who creates my thoughts, so can I create good thoughts in a difficult situation, or when someone is being nasty with me? Are there situations where it is impossible to create a good thought?
The death of a loved one is one of the most painful situations to face. Some think that it is normal to cry then. But we have the power to create the right kind of thoughts even in such a situation. When a soul leaves a body to begin a new chapter in its life’s journey, we can send it good wishes so that it has a happy future. If we create thoughts of sorrow or attachment, they pull that soul and disturb its peace.
When someone passes away, our primary concern should not be “What will happen to me now?”, but to ensure that they have a happy future. “What will happen to me now” is attachment. Sending good wishes to that soul is love. I was once at the Intensive Care Unit of a hospital to see someone, and a young woman asked me to come and see her father, who had been admitted there for many days. He had terminal cancer and the doctor said that they had done all they could for him and there was nothing more to do in terms of treatment. The woman kept crying. I told her that her sorrow would pain her father, and her attachment will keep him tied to a body that was now beyond repair. The best thing to do was to send that soul good wishes, tell him that she would be fine and not to worry about her, and to give him leave to move on to the next stage of his journey. Not long after she did this, her father peacefully left his body.
When a loved one departs like this, some people cry and complain, “How could they leave me?” Why not instead thank them for all that they did for us? Gratitude is so much better than lamentation. The way we think makes all the difference. There is no situation in which we cannot create a positive thought. If we think right, we can respond in the right manner. This is the way to live and show others how to live. When it is time for someone to leave their body, we should send them off with love, and leave our body the same way when our final moment arrives.
If our life has been a tangle of pulls and pressures, then in the end too we will struggle to leave. Life should not be a struggle. We can learn to appreciate every scene of life and try to see the good in it. Is it possible to do that? Even if nothing good has happened, at least the experience has made me wiser. This is important, which is why it is said that our final moment decides our future – our state of mind when leaving the body decides the kind of life we will have next. But to get it right in the end, we should have created the right kind of thoughts during our life.
What do we remember in the end – people, money, our favourite food, or God? Our life can end any day, and we all know that. But have we lived in a way that we can leave without worry or regret? Have we forgiven, sought forgiveness, and expressed gratitude where it was due? If I quarrel with someone before going to bed and do not wake up again, what kind of karmic burden will I, the soul, carry with me to my next life? By paying attention to our thoughts and feelings, consciously creating positive thoughts, we can live in such a way that there are no entanglements in our mind or relationships, and when the end comes we can leave peacefully and happily.
B.K. Shivani is a well-known motivational speaker and Rajyoga teacher.