Many of us are experiencing challenging and difficult situations of a kind that appear more complex than in earlier times. Not only that, but these challenges seem as though they are arriving in number, rather than as isolated incidents, which means that we are having to face things on many different levels, all at the same time. There are choices to be made. We can try to avoid or run away from it all, or turn the burden onto others and abdicate all our responsibility, or build up our own inner resilience, through which we can find strength and clarity of an enduring kind. This kind of resilience will serve us over and over again in times to come.
One way of defining resilience is the success experienced by adapting to difficult and challenging experiences. That does not mean to say that resilience always culminates in a perfect outcome to all things, but that we as individuals face and adapt to what is required, with wisdom, calm, and ease. We cannot build resilience by just thinking about it, but it is in the facing of challenges that we find it. Building by its very nature means step by step, or brick by brick. We cannot build resilience overnight; it takes time and challenges provide the cement to hold the bricks together.
However, we all have lifestyles designed to give us as much comfort as possible with as little disruption as possible. When challenges occur, they interfere with our carefully honed routines and for many, the first response is resistance and reaction. We respond with emotion, as we begin to feel out of control. Instead of a calm appraisal, a thought-out response, a clear assessment, we speed up our thinking and lose our sense of perspective. We often lose confidence, and feel that we are not able, or good enough, to deal with it all. If we consider carefully, we can see that to develop our own inner resilience, based on a deep understanding of the self, is a far better option.
Meditation is not something to dip in and out of at times of crisis. It is something we need to build into our lives so that we are the best prepared for whatever might come. Each time we are challenged and work through that challenge using meditation for clarity and inner resolve, then that experience will provide power for the next challenge or difficulty. There are other things we can do combined with the practice of meditation:
We can take a positive rather than a negative view of what is happening. The perspective we have of a situation affects the outcome. A negative perspective can make it worse, especially if we constantly keep talking about it, which drains us of energy and makes us more confused, as others love to give their opinions. We need to provide positive thoughts to a situation, and tell the self that we can do what is needed, this will eventually pass and there will be some, as yet unseen, benefit in it all.
We can see what we can learn about ourselves as we progress through it. We want to be cool, calm, and respectful throughout. If we see that we are not, then we can take steps to change.
We can watch our emotions. We all have tremendous potential, but we also have our darker sides. The emotions that are triggered in times of stress, are sometimes extreme and based on fear. We can become angry and blame others, and this takes away our power. When we are calm, we can start to see the best in others, give them good wishes, and allow the goodness that we all have, to emerge. Meditation helps us to see the self with clarity, and we can appreciate the qualities and the virtues we have that foster resilience.
We can listen before we speak. When we speak, we can speak with love and understanding. We can experiment and watch how we feel when we do it this way, or if we revert to reactionary and criticising behaviour. If we handle things to the best of our ability, the best we can be at any given time, we will feel at peace. If we do not make the effort to apply the spiritual understanding we have gained so far, we will feel anxious, guilty, and worried.
We can focus on the things we are able to do to make a difference. Do not dwell on what we cannot do or the past, or wanting things to be different. I can only control me, step by step, moment by moment, knowing that I can always change.
Ultimately, it is all about my true self and the awareness of what is blocking me or getting in the way. Resilience is there, deep within, and it is often only through a crisis that we discover how resilient we truly are.
Natalie Steel is a Chaplain at Loughborough University. She is the Area Coordinator for the BK Centres in the Midlands, UK.