Have you ever observed that your thoughts, emotions, behaviour and notions of anything and everything are derived from other people’s thoughts?
We live in a society that is conditioned by the media, our educational system, our communities, our neighbours, places of worship, and our families. From our earliest memories, we are taught what is right and what is wrong. We are informed of what to wear and what not to. We have been told by a variety of practitioners what our ideal weight and height should be. Our parents may have even been given a growth chart to track our weight and height throughout our development. As a society, we have become very conditioned to think that our bodies must fit into a specific set of parameters. It is strangely funny that we have a need not only to track our body mass index but that every person must fall within a certain guideline. The world is so obsessed with body image and our media, social media, advertisements, etc., are 24×7 drilling it into us. And this is where body shaming begins because anyone who does not fit the prescribed parameters is called out, at times, dog whistled and isolated. It is a phenomenon that affects all genders, including women and men across age groups.
Body shaming is not gender, weight, height, or body-specific. At its core, body shaming is the intentional act of humiliating another. It occurs through mocking, critical comments, and shaming related to one’s body type. It is the intent to cause them to conform to a specific standard. Body shaming causes an individual to feel shame or disgust in relation to his or her own body. It perpetuates a false impression of the right body type and fuels self-doubt and issues related to self-esteem. Everyone has felt the emotional effects of body shaming at one point or another: embarrassment, fear, shyness, anger, rage, anxiety, envy, and anytime there is an emotional reaction to something, the body will respond physically.
Body-shaming is one of those emotions that comes up when you believe that there is something wrong with you. Shame is deep-seated. It is literally a strike against the soul.
Shame is believing that who you are is not enough, broken, damaged, not good, wrong, sinful.
The thing about body shaming is that it comes from thinking a belief that is untrue. It is either by a standard set by society, your family, or yourself through observation and interpretation.
Body shaming contributes to a variety of psychological, physiological, and mental health disorders such as stress, anxiety, eating disorders, panic attacks, body image issues, loneliness, social anxiety, depression, digestive issues, and even suicidal ideation. It is a silent killer.
The truth is that there is no right way. It is important to have self-dignity and be healthy. But you need not conform to a way of thinking just because most people think or feel that way.
You are allowed to be you. You are allowed to set your own beliefs, your own rules, and most importantly, your own boundaries. Who you are at your core was created by something bigger than life itself, and not one other person who was created is the same.
Who you are is ok. Learning to love and accept yourself can take time, but it can also save your life.
Dr Chavi Sharma Bhargava is the founder and CEO of Indic Center for Psychological Wellness and Holistic Health and Conversationists-Talking Cures.