As soon as a difficult situation arises, tell yourself that there is some benefit in it. By doing so, you can conserve your inner power, and use that power to deal with the situation. It is our mind that first grapples with any problem – making sense of it and deciding how to respond. If I weaken my mind at the very outset, even a small issue will appear big to me, and I will struggle to deal with it. In other words, the one thing I need to take care of in order to face all situations, is my inner power; I need to conserve this power.
We do many things that deplete our energy, but there are some other things we can do to increase it. Think of the soul as a battery; when this battery is fully charged, we can easily face tough situations. When the battery is depleted, facing challenges becomes difficult.
What are things we do that reduce our inner power? One is criticising others. We do not even recognise the fact that we are being critical: “I am not criticising. I am simply stating a fact. They are like that. What else can you say about them?”
Someone may have many flaws that are clearly visible to others. Knowing this is fine, but the moment we start dwelling on their flaws, the quality of our consciousness changes. The negative thoughts we create will produce corresponding emotions and we will start feeling irritated, agitated, and unhappy – a clear sign that our inner power has diminished.
When we see something wrong in a person or a situation, if we can do something about it, that is good, but if not, it is fruitless to expend time and energy thinking about it. The best we can do is to stop such thoughts. We are habituated to thinking unnecessarily about people and situations. To end this habit, we can tell the mind to stop each time we find ourselves thinking in this manner. “I have thought enough, to no purpose. Now, stop.”
The mind will again go in that direction: “But…” “What about…”, and so on. Each time, we have to consciously put a stop to our thoughts. We need to ask ourselves, “Why am I wasting time thinking about them?” Such attention and practice gradually end the habit of needless thinking.
Stopping futile thinking conserves the soul’s power, but to charge the soul and empower it, we need to go a step further – have good wishes for the other person. How is that possible? If we are a little empathic we will understand that the shortcomings of the other person are the result of their weaknesses. When you see a weak person, what do you do? You offer them support; you do not condemn or malign them. How do you support them? By having good wishes.
When I have good wishes for others, I am the first beneficiary: my state of mind and inner power get a boost. On the other hand, if I brood over another person’s defects, and also talk about them, I will lose power quickly. The one I am talking to will add their opinion to the gossip, further sullying my mind and prompting me to say more. Caught in this cycle of negative thinking and talk, I will soon be drained of my inner power, which includes the powers of tolerance, accurate discernment, and right judgment.
On the other hand, good wishes can do wonders. There are situations where a person we are very close to takes a decision that we think is not right. But they are firm on their course of action – it may be about their career, a relationship, or something else. What do we do? Having tried and failed to dissuade them, we tell ourselves that they will definitely meet an unhappy end and regret their choice. Our intention may be good, but what kind of energy are we sending to the other person by thinking in this manner? Each individual has their own destiny, which we cannot change. What we can do is to have good wishes and thereby bless them. This will not only charge our soul battery by keeping our feelings positive and our relationship healthy, but also buoy up the other person, whereby they may succeed in whatever they are doing.
If we want to be strong, happy, and successful, all we need to do is think positively in every situation. This will keep us charged, energise those around us, and the collective positive vibrations will help to bring about good results.
B.K. Shivani is a well-known motivational speaker and Rajyoga teacher.