Acceptance leads to change

Acceptance in human psychology is a person’s assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing a process or connotation (often negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it or protest. Accepting means understanding yourself, others, your situation, and the world around you in a non-judgmental way. Accepting does not mean liking something or being happy with the […]

Acceptance in human psychology is a person’s assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing a process or connotation (often negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it or protest. Accepting means understanding yourself, others, your situation, and the world around you in a non-judgmental way. Accepting does not mean liking something or being happy with the way it is. It means us simply taking it for what it is. Acceptance is about taking ownership of a problem without giving in to defeat. It is about admitting a problem and becoming more aware of its dimensions.
Now, the next connected word of this heading is ’change’. Change means doing something different: either problem-solving or using skills to address something that isn›t working. We all desire to progress and prosper in all aspects of life which include our spiritual, mental, emotional, financial, and social well-being. We don’t want to accept painful experiences in our lives when we can change. You need to develop your ability to face such challenges in your life. If you look, there are many things that we can think to change to make our lives better. You can change your job or profession to enhance your finances; you can upgrade your communication system to interact with others. You have the inner power to change your negative emotions and feelings to positive ones. There are endless counts to make specific changes to improve your inner and outer life. There are challenges and obstacles that you have to face to fulfill your dreams or goals in life. To achieve this aim you need to embrace the changes progressively. Let me tell you that these changes have to be positive only not opposite.
Acceptance leads to change because it is the precondition to change as no change takes place unless we admit that a problem exists which is affecting us badly, and we have to work out some solution. You must learn to accept and make peace with the way things are happening and you step out of your way to improve and prosper in life. To practice acceptance you must acknowledge all the uncomfortable parts of your emotions, your thoughts, and even of your past. You must know your limitations and flaws. Acceptance requires patience, courage, self-compassion, willpower, and dedication which lead to the most profound type of change. You must accept the things, persons and situations as they are, and understand what needs to change. Don›t forget to let go of the blame, doubt, distrust, anger, and so on. There’s a gap between acceptance and change and there is the requirement to narrow down this gap and try to balance both acceptance and change. Accepting is a power tool in your hand, and so is change! Finding the sweet spot between acceptance and change is going to help you transform your life into one that feels great to you. There are few things in life over which we don›t have control as we can›t change our past and also we can›t predict the future. Also, we can›t control the behavior of other persons. Only we can work on the principle of acceptance and tolerance in the present moment without taking any action to change.
We all talk about living a successful and happy life, maintaining sound physical and mental health, having good finances, keeping good relationships with near and dear ones, and enjoying a high social status. I say there›s nothing wrong with dreaming all your desires.  God has blessed you with the tremendous inner power to get what you desire or dream in life. Each one of us has a great urge to change for the betterment of self-improvement. Understanding the principle of «Acceptance» can create miracles in your life to achieve what you have been dreaming of. First and foremost, you must accept yourself as you are which is known as self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is a stepping stone toward self-improvement or personal change. As written earlier you can›t change something you have not accepted. Self-acceptance involves self-understanding and awareness of your strengths and weaknesses. You must work out change what you can accept what you can›t change, and learn to stop fighting against what you can›t change but use the same energy for other progressive and desired goals. Self-acceptance is learning to own every aspect of yourself not only your positive points, but also negative ones including your habits, emotions, imperfections, and so on. You need to sit in a peaceful place introspect yourself and note down every point of yourself going into its minor details. You must know who you are and what are your limitations creating hindrances and planning important changes to ultimately improve your life. Let me tell you that it›s not an easy game to accept your flaws and plan necessary changes. Carl Jing wrote rightly in the  quote, «The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.
Remember any internal or external change is bound to face tremendous resistance by your inner or outer world, and it is only you, nobody else who has the power to outweigh or thwart such obstacles and succeed in reaching your goals. Self-acceptance is the only key in your hand for opening a gateway leading you towards self-empowerment, self-compassion, self-appreciation, self-dedication, and integration which in turn bring you very close to your desired change. With the help of this key, you ignite the turbo-engine of your inner life heading you towards self-transformation, the highest level of your life. What a wonderful role of Self-acceptance!!
Today majority of the people are inclined towards a materialistic world, and pay no or very little attention to the inner world or inner life. Because, we are most ignorant of the self-acceptance principle of life, and in the bargain, we keep suffering throughout life. If you understand and practice the principle of self-acceptance, your urge to change for the betterment of life will be enhanced proportionately. If you are aware of yourself and have understood the principle of acceptance, it will be easier for you to prioritize the sequence of self-changes that you are willing to make. Once you have accepted yourself as you are, you must remember that it is not enough or desirable to simply embrace your good or positive qualities but be true to yourself for embracing your less desirable traits and habits, and ugly parts of your life. Let me tell you truly, that it is very important to accept and acknowledge the things that we desperately want to change about ourselves before starting off our journey for self-improvement. Self-acceptance brings peace of mind thus giving you space to think to make deliberate choices for pursuing your goals. To achieve your goals of self-change you must build and maintain your self-esteem, identify your talents, and make maximum use of talents and strengths. Self-acceptance will empower you to eradicate your bad habits one by one and also strengthen your positive qualities.
Once you have accepted yourself as you are. You will start loving yourself. God has made every human being a unique personality having different physical and mental qualities. No two persons will match with each other. Stop comparing yourself with others. Start loving every part of your body. God has blessed you with a wonderful body with beautiful features and physics. Close your eyes and visualize your inner self, how beautiful your inner life is! You must learn to appreciate yourself. Please, don›t worry about the color and features of your physical body.   Believe that God  has only designed it for you ‹the best›  with no comparison with anyone. You are the best on this earth. We must accept and appreciate whatever God has blessed us and feel contented with what all we have presently including money and materials, and you will realize things will start changing the way we want our progress and prosperity.
You must learn to use mental power to change your negative habits to positive one by practicing affirmation techniques. For example, if you feel hesitation about smiling or by nature you rarely smile, when you get up in the morning make a fake smile on your face and see this smile in your mirror, it may look odd for the first time. Continue practicing this fake smile every day but after a few days, you will realize that you don’t have to make a fake smile but automatically natural smile will appear on your face which subsequently becomes your nature. In the affirmation technique, you need to write down the positive face or the opposite word to whatever negative accepted emotions or feelings you intend to change. Your subconscious mind which operates on the right brain has a unique quality that it can’t discern between true and false or fake. Hence, your thoughts true or false as radiated will be recorded in the subconscious. As you know your repeated thought creates your feelings/ emotion, repeated feeling/emotion creates your habit, repeated habit creates your attitude and finally repeated attitude will develop your belief. The positive belief can create miracles into your life.  This is how, by using the technique of affirmation or visualization you can erase your negative beliefs and subsequently convert them into positive ones. Frankly speaking, if you think deeply you are using the same technique for learning new skills.
Self-acceptance is most essential to manage your emotions and beliefs to make the most profound changes in your inner life which is the strongest foundation to build your outer life or the outer world. First of all, you have to change yourself.  When you are in the process of self-change, others are also keeping their eyes on you and seeing the positive change and your progress. When you love yourself and then you will automatically start spreading the fragrance of love to others. People will start imitating and loving you. Accept other persons as they are, which includes their positive as well as negative qualities. Ignore their drawbacks but make full use of their positive traits. Once, others have seen  the transformation in your life, they will start liking you and following your footprints, and you will visualize the drastic changes in them, and slowly their drawbacks will start vanishing from their lives.  You must remember the quote of Brain Tracy “The greatest gift you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.  In life you may experience certain unforeseen tough and unchangeable situations. You must accept the situation that you are in. You must understand that sometimes God purposely creates such situations in your life to change the route, thus compelling you to passing through the critical path for your betterment to overcome the stagnation in the long journey of your life. You must understand that everything in life happens for a reason and whatever burden or problem you are facing isn›t accidental. You must acknowledge it and move to something new alternative which is lying ahead of you. When I decided to ask for a premature retirement and embrace a new career in the business world.This subject is least known and understood by majority of us. In life, at some point in time, we all have to face some or other problems, something we just can›t change. We believe in resistance and keep fighting against that, which causes our suffering and pain. Let us stop fighting but accept the situation. You must learn, understand, and start practicing the principle of self-acceptance and observe the changes in your life. You will observe a sea change in you which will not only boost your inner life but, will be most powerful to enhance your outer life too. Remember, when you accept yourself and practice change, others will also accept you, and you will start experiencing mutual love, respect, trust faith, tolerance, and openness. In this way, you will be able to improve your relationships and develop new relationships. If followed in true spirit, can create wonders in your life.


The writer is a published author and an Army  veteran