For decades, society has set specific ages for major life milestones such as career development, marriage, and having children.
In many cultures, family expectations place considerable pressure on young adults. However, Vietnamese women have found a way to navigate the stress of marriage.
According to a report by the South China Morning Post (SCMP), renting boyfriends has become an increasingly popular trend. This practice allows women to avoid the social stigma of being single, especially during family events like the Lunar New Year in Vietnam.
The growing popularity of this trend is driven by the pressure young people face to marry and start families. By opting for this solution, women can manage societal expectations without committing to marriage.
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Know how Vietnamese women are renting boyfriends
An increasing number of women are turning to services that offer rented boyfriends to alleviate the family pressure surrounding marriage and relationships.
Minh Thu, a 30-year-old professional from northern Vietnam, resorted to this service after her parents insisted she bring a boyfriend home for the Lunar New Year. Single for five years due to her demanding career, she felt the pressure when her parents pretended to be ill and expressed their desire for grandchildren.
Thu paid several million Vietnamese dong (a few hundred US dollars) to hire a man five years older than her to pose as her boyfriend, as reported by Vietnamese media outlet VnExpress. They prepared for the visit by exchanging family details and creating an “emotional connection.”
Her hired partner, skilled in domestic chores and social interactions, impressed her family. “On the day he came to my house, he helped my mum cook and chatted with my relatives. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen my parents so happy and proud of me,” Thu told SCMP.
Khanh Ngoc had a similar experience when she rented a younger, attractive man who successfully won over her parents. “Since then, my relationship with my parents has improved,” she said.
Huy Tuan, a 25-year-old from Hanoi, has worked as a “fake boyfriend” for over a year. Tuan invests in his appearance and skills, including going to the gym, learning to cook, and improving his singing and conversational abilities to meet his clients’ expectations.
Tuan limits himself to three to four clients a month to ensure quality service. For him, rates for a coffee date or shopping trip start at a few hundred thousand Vietnamese dong (US$10–$20), while family meetings cost about 1 million Vietnamese dong (US$40).
In most cases, rental contracts prohibit emotional involvement and sexual harassment.
This practice underscores the cultural emphasis on marriage in Vietnam, where parents often see their children’s single status as a failure in parenting. The pressure is further heightened by their desire for grandchildren while they are still able to help raise them.
The risk
The practice of renting boyfriends, while offering a quick solution to family pressures, can pose significant risks, particularly in terms of emotional repercussions, according to experts.
Nguyen Thanh Nga, a researcher at the Academy of Journalism and Communication in Vietnam, told SCMP, “If exposed, families could experience significant emotional damage and lose trust. Additionally, renting a partner is not legally protected in Vietnam, so women should be especially cautious.”
Sociologist Dr. Pham Thi Thuy also pointed out that this trend highlights deeper issues in family communication. “Marriage should follow the children’s plans, but it is often forced to fit their parents’ schedule,” she told VnExpress.
The disconnect between parental expectations and children’s life choices often leads to conflicts, and hiring a fake partner may provide only a temporary solution to this broader societal issue.
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The trend
The trend of renting boyfriends has gained significant attention through social media platforms, which act as hubs for women to connect with men offering temporary relationship services.
According to a forum administrator overseeing a group with over 20,000 members, the practice is especially popular during family-centric celebrations like the Lunar New Year, when parental pressure to settle down intensifies. One social media observer told SCMP, “Marrying without a successful career just leads to a lot of problems. Renting a partner is a win-win – it makes your parents happy and alleviates pressure on you.”
However, not everyone agrees. Another commenter remarked, “I can’t imagine how heartbreaking it would be for parents to find out it was a lie.”
Notably, this practice is not limited to Vietnam; it is also popular in China, where marriage rates are hitting record lows. In the first half of this year, only 3.43 million marriages were registered in China, marking the lowest figure in a decade.
Many young Chinese also rent partners during major festivals like the Mid-Autumn Festival and Lunar New Year, with daily fees typically around 1,000 yuan (US$140).
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