Extramarital affairs, a subject often shrouded in secrecy and stigma, have long been a contentious issue in societies around the world. However, have you ever pondered why these affairs when come to light, the burden of blame disproportionately falls on women? This gendered response raises critical questions about societal attitudes toward fidelity, gender roles, and the double standards that continue to persist.
Extramarital affairs have been present throughout history, often viewed differently across cultures and eras. In ancient civilizations, such as Greece and Rome, extramarital relationships were sometimes accepted or even encouraged, particularly among men. In medieval and Renaissance Europe, extramarital affairs were common among the nobility, often tied to power and politics, though they were generally frowned upon by society.
However, in the long past extramarital affairs were a punishable act. The last person to be hanged for adultery in England was hanged in 1654. In the 1700s and 1800s, the concept of the mistress became popular. But it was always men who could look for pleasures outside marriage as for women it was the biggest crime.
In the 20th and 21st centuries, social attitudes toward extramarital affairs have shifted somewhat, with greater openness about sexuality but continued stigma attached to infidelity. Affairs are often explored in literature, film, and media, reflecting ongoing tensions between societal norms and individual desires. Despite changing attitudes, extramarital affairs remain a complex and controversial topic, deeply intertwined with issues of morality, trust, and relationships.
The Double Standards: Women vs. Men
In many cultures, women are held to higher moral standards than men, especially when it comes to relationships and fidelity. When a woman engages in an extramarital affair, she is often labelled as promiscuous, immoral, or even a home-wrecker. In contrast, men involved in similar situations are frequently excused or their actions minimized, with phrases like “boys will be boys” used to justify their behaviour. This disparity in judgment reflects deeply ingrained patriarchal values that view women as the custodians of family honour and morality, while men are granted more leeway to stray.
Circumstances Leading to Extramarital Affairs
Extramarital affairs do not happen in a vacuum. Various factors can contribute to someone seeking emotional or physical fulfillment outside their marriage.
Let us try to know some common scenarios:
Emotional Disconnect: A lack of emotional intimacy or communication breakdown in a marriage can push individuals to seek solace elsewhere. When partners feel unheard, unappreciated, or disconnected, they may turn to someone who provides the emotional support and understanding they crave.
Sexual Dissatisfaction: A mismatch in sexual desires or unmet sexual needs can lead to infidelity. If one partner feels neglected or unsatisfied, they may look outside the marriage to fulfill their desires.
Monotony and Boredom: The routine nature of long-term relationships can sometimes lead to boredom. When the excitement and novelty wear off, some individuals may seek new experiences and thrills with someone else.
Opportunity and Temptation: Situations that provide easy access to potential partners, such as work environments or social circles, can create opportunities for affairs. Proximity, frequent interactions, and shared experiences can lead to emotional or physical connections that cross the boundaries of marriage.
Revenge or Retaliation: In some cases, infidelity may be an act of revenge. If one partner suspects or discovers that the other has been unfaithful, they may engage in an affair as a way to get back at them.
Personal Issues: Low self-esteem, mid-life crises, or a need for validation can drive individuals to seek affirmation outside their marriage. The attention and affection of someone new can temporarily boost their self-worth.
Bollywood and Extramarital Affairs
The world of Bollywood has often mirrored society’s complex relationship with extramarital affairs, both on and off the screen. Bollywood films have portrayed affairs in various shades, from the tragic to the glamorous, reflecting the intricate dynamics of love, desire, and betrayal.
Movies like “Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna” and “Silsila” have explored the emotional turmoil and societal backlash that accompany extramarital relationships. These films often delve into the motivations behind such affairs, highlighting how circumstances and emotions can lead even the most committed individuals to stray.
However, the influence of Bollywood goes beyond its cinematic portrayals. The industry’s real-life narratives, involving actors and actresses caught in extramarital scandals, often fuel public discourse and reinforce societal judgments. Women in the industry, in particular, face intense scrutiny and are frequently vilified, while their male counterparts often escape with their reputations relatively intact.
The Way Forward: A Call for Equality and Understanding
It is crucial to recognize that extramarital affairs are a complex issue, and the blame should not be disproportionately placed on one gender. Both men and women are equally responsible for their actions, and the reasons behind infidelity are often multifaceted.
To address the root causes of extramarital affairs, it is essential to foster open communication, emotional connection, and mutual respect within marriages. Additionally, society must move towards a more balanced and compassionate approach, recognizing that everyone involved has a role to play in the dynamics of a relationship. Only by challenging the double standards and addressing the underlying issues can we hope to create a more equitable and understanding society.
