Why is that women always must try harder, work harder to reach the same position as men? Why is it always taken for granted that men will be better at leadership roles, at financial decisions and at running the home or even a country? Though, time and again women have proven these mindsets wrong. Look at the examples of Indira Nooyi or the Finland prime Minister who could run a country with a baby in her arms. Till date men do not want to work for female bosses and if women are working for men bosses their husband/family feels unsecured. When will the mindset change?
In a family, if a girl remains unmarried till the age of 30, it is a nightmare for the parents. If a married woman decides not to have children, it is not acceptable. Why is it that the girls/women decide for themselves? The societal pressure is humongous. How is the society/culture being threatened if a woman decides for herself whether to get married or have children or not?
A working woman has to come home and cook for the family. All the household chores are her responsibility and not his. Slowly and steadily when we see some changes in the bigger metro cities that men are helping their wives in household chores then it is considered as a favour and the obligation weighs heavily on the women. They are reminded of this favour time and again. The husbands are often telling their wives, “You are lucky.” “ I am not like the other men.” Etc. Even when the couple is fine with the compatibility and responsibilities they share, the people around them make sure that they sow in their minds the gender roles. If a husband cooks, the wife is called ‘lucky’, but if a wife provides better financial support at home the husband is not called ‘lucky’. We must have seen or called women whose husbands share household chores or are good at cooking being called ‘lucky’, but does the husband or his family or even the woman’s family consider the man ‘lucky’ whose wife earns and supports him financially?
Even when it comes to media, films or any entertainment channel, any explicit scenes you see, the fault finding is in the female actor. “How can she do these scenes? Does she have no shame at all?” Or “She was so hot in that movie/scene.” The female actors are only objectified or criticized. What about the male actor with her? He has different morals. He need not be ashamed. Women talking about sex or orgasm is a hush hush…but if men do not speak about these things, they are considered sissy. Why the word ‘sissy’? Again, saying that a man who is a lesser man is like a woman and that is an abuse in itself. How pathetic! We all say that the gender divide, inequality, and injustices should come to an end, but will not see acreage till we all change our mindsets. The change has to be from within and with us first.
We have to start giving importance to ourselves. Self-love, care, ‘Me time’ and happiness of oneself is as important as that of the family or spouse.
Women need to support their clan the most by being empathetic and seeing the other in the same light they see themselves. Women need to raise sons who believe in equality in gender, who respect women and cares. Women have to stop belittling women in their family and workplace. Women also must change their mindset and habit of treating men as superior and another woman as a threat and enemy. Let us start with ourselves first and then expect others to change or follow.
The author is an acclaimed educator, award-winning writer and editor.
