Question – I went on a date with my friend. I have known him for a year. He is nice, and I thought I loved him. Recently, when we went out, he forced himself on me, didn’t listen as I kept resisting, and, to be honest, he raped me. I do not know how to process this and cannot understand why he did it.
The complexity and diversity of factors that contribute to sexual aggression and rape make it a topic that needs to be approached with sensitivity and nuance. It is important to recognise that sexual aggression and rape are not natural or acceptable behaviours and can never be condoned. It is an offence. However, understanding makes intervention easier.
Freud said, ‘Anatomy is destiny.” Men tend to be physically stronger by genetic design; therefore, they rape because they can.
All of us behave in scripted ways in almost all areas of our lives, including sex. Our scripts are shaped in part by biology, in part by society, and in part by our own experiences. Through socialisation, we become a part of society, culture, and community.
Acts of sex and violence share the hormone testosterone, and so the two are biologically linked. Primaeval men were “rewarded” for aggression by gaining access to women and protecting them from other males. This may have caused sexually aggressive impulses in men to be passed down through generations, according to Shpancer. This does not excuse sexual assault, however, as men have control over these urges.
Evolutionary psychology suggests male sexual aggression may be seen as a strategy to increase their chances of reproductive success by coercing or forcing females into sexual encounters and warding off prospective challenges. This created an evolutionary advantage for men who exhibited sexually aggressive behaviour.
Social pressure and culture tend to have a greater influence over people’s behaviour than genetics or biology. Societal norms and gender roles play a significant role in shaping human behaviour and attitudes towards sexuality. People internalise these behaviours and do not like breaking or going against social norms, and they do not like people who challenge the social norms. But another fact is that people can learn and unlearn new behaviours. Nothing about the human mind or behaviour is fixed.
In the rules of dating, love, romance, etc., it is a pervasive social norm that flirting and foreplay lead to sex or intercourse. Therefore, when a woman says, “No,” or “Stop,” these men become angry with the woman rather than questioning their own behaviour. Then there are those people who do not care for the social norms; these are the antisocial, sociopaths, or psychopaths who will rape because they do not fear the consequences.
Patriarchy plays a significant role in perpetuating gender inequality, sexual violence, and aggression towards women. Male sexual aggression towards women is often a result of cultural and institutional norms that prioritise male dominance and control over women’s bodies and sexuality. Peer pressure and toxic masculinity influence men, as these expectations value sexual experience and aggression as signs of manhood and stigmatise those who do not conform to them.
Prof Chavi Bhargava Sharma is a renowned psychologist with a PhD in Psychology.