The great dichotomy in following a spiritual practice is that, even though talking about the ideas and knowledge that we are taught, is very beneficial for ourselves and to others, it can only be truly authentic if we have, in fact, absorbed and practised it for the self. Otherwise, it is an intellectual exercise only, and only touches the intellects of others, not the hearts and minds.
Overcoming the reluctance to share something that we have not yet mastered, makes us vulnerable, because we are aware of the dissonance between the aim and the current reality. So how do we share what we know to be true, and have the aim to achieve, while being aware that we are not there yet? First and foremost, we have to have honesty. Honesty with the self is a major step. To live an honest life means that there is always a part of me that is observing the self. It is not honesty to just ‘own up’ to mistakes I have made; real honesty lies in being able to share what I have learned from the mistake and what I have resolved to transform, in such a way that it becomes useful for someone else.
This requires the second attribute of humility. This requires being prepared to acknowledge that I am on a journey, and not allow the ego to create a false façade by creating, or trying to protect, an image that I am not able to maintain. Our intentions and attitude are picked up by others long before we speak. We need to be mindful of not projecting what we want to be rather than what we are just now. The third aspect is honour. I need to give regard and respect to myself and honour the process. This means I will be able to respect, honour and give regard to others, on their journeys.
I only know if I am walking my talk when I am relating with others. When I am working in a team, for example, with all the opportunities for clashes of personality, ideas, intentions and aims. Can I retain the spiritual qualities of love, peace, tolerance and patience?
So, walking the talk is being true to the self, honouring and respecting that self, and interacting with each one, with humility. This is only possible when we understand that we are incredibly subtle, spiritual beings with great reservoirs of love and peace, joy and wisdom within. As we move along, checking and changing, we understand the need to charge and renew ourselves each day. This allows us to clearly see the quality of our relationships with others and most importantly with the Divine – a source that never changes, is constantly giving, always benevolent, always honest and always true.
In this way, I begin to see the same qualities emerging in the self, of beauty, compassion, generosity, and truth. If I am too self-centred, then I cannot walk the talk. Dadi Janki used to ask: “How much of the time do I spend watching myself and how much time do I spend thinking about how others perceive me?” She spent 95 per cent of her time with her own self in the sense of how she was responding to others in a supportive way, and uplifting them.
There is a bigger picture in all of this – that of what the world needs now. Do I believe that I am the only cog making the huge machinery of the world drama keep turning, holding it all together? If everything becomes about me, then my actions can never be benevolent. I am an important cog, but not the only one, yet everything I think and say and do is making a contribution to the world. Journeys are filled with delays and obstacles; sometimes we win, sometimes we lose, sometimes we fail and sometimes we succeed. Let me not be in denial when I am talking about my journey, because it is walking along the path that truly teaches me humility and allows me to learn so much and then grow and evolve. Sometimes, in the genuine desire to get to the end of the path, we try to pretend we are already there – but we need to cover the ground, step by beautiful step.
Manda Patel is a Rajyoga teacher based at the Brahma Kumaris Global Retreat Centre, Oxford, UK.