In a world where living together is often seen as the traditional milestone in relationships, a new trend is turning this idea on its head. More couples are embracing the concept of Living Apart Together (LAT) or becoming Apartners, where maintaining separate living spaces is key to their relationship’s success. This trend allows couples to nurture their romantic connection while having the freedom of personal space, ultimately leading to healthier, happier, and longer-lasting relationships.
Couples in LAT arrangements may live in different cities, states, or even countries due to work commitments, while others opt for separate homes in the same area to suit their individual needs. Rather than feeling disconnected, these pairs find that their independence actually strengthens their bond, allowing for personal growth while still enjoying quality time together. In fact, one of the surprising benefits of LAT living is the ability to avoid the daily stressors that often lead to conflicts, such as household chores and responsibilities.
Even some well-known celebrity couples have embraced this new approach, setting an example for others. Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith, Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor, Sheryl Lee Ralph and Vincent Hughes, and Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk are just a few examples of couples who have found that living apart works for them.
Gwyneth Paltrow, who met her husband Brad Falchuk in 2010, opened up about their unique arrangement in an interview with The Times. “All my married friends say that the way we live sounds ideal and we shouldn’t change a thing. I don’t care about the haters. Haters are irrelevant to me. It’s like Brené Brown says: I’m not making this work for people who aren’t in the arena. Haters don’t mean anything to me because they are not my people,” she said. This statement resonates with many couples who are tired of societal expectations and feel that their own setup works best for them.
For Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor, their relationship has flourished precisely because they don’t live together. In a past episode of SmartLess podcast, Paulson shared, “We don’t live together, that’s the sort of secret. Holland and I spend plenty of time together, but we don’t live in the same house. We’ve been together for a long time now and I think part of it has to do with we’re together when we want to be and we’re not when we don’t. Holland before me had not been in a ton of long-term relationships, whereas Holland is my sort of third, you know more than a 5-year relationship. So I tend to do that and have more experience doing that, Holland has it.”
This setup, where couples are together when they want to be and apart when they need space, seems to be a key factor in maintaining their long-term relationship satisfaction. With fewer expectations and more personal space, both partners are able to be their best selves, bringing positivity and energy to their time together.
The LAT trend challenges the conventional belief that living together under one roof is essential for love to flourish. As this new wave of relationship dynamics continues to grow, many couples—celebrity or otherwise—are embracing the idea that having their own spaces might just be the secret to a successful relationship.
