I, crow Chatur Baboolniwasi, seek the attention of all human beings through this open letter.
Enough is enough. We crows have no choice but to raise our caw caw against the blatant discrimination by the birdwatchers. They often wait for hours to click the so-called cute birds- as if these were royalty. Some birders even risk admission to a hospital by moving on steep gradients while chasing a bird for taking a pic. But they have selective blindness for us. I have tried giving unique poses but never got a click. Because of this neglect, quite a few of us are suffering from clinical depression. Some of our youngsters are considering make-up, tattoos and even cosmetic surgery. The radicals amongst us are of the opinion that crows should undergo genetic modification.
Most humans proudly proclaim that they are broad-minded. What a joke! Do they look at peacocks and crows in the same manner? But our brethren are no better. Most of the birds avoid us. We are not even invited to their parties. I have also come to know that making fun of us spices up their conversations.
I feel the almighty was in a foul mood while we were being created. We have an oversized beak and clumsy movements. Our call can’t be labelled as birdsong- it seems as if we have a perpetual coronavirus infestation of the throat. But we make up for it with our smartness.
I am sure all of you have read the story of the thirsty crow. If you haven’t read it- probably the school in which you studied had your parent or grandparent in the management. I would like to clarify that stealing and robbing is acceptable amongst us because that is our version of smart work. When crows team up, they can bruise the egos of the birds who are drunk with power- we make black kites and eagles run for their lives.
Sometimes I sit near the trees overlooking the houses and get voyeuristic pleasure by watching the activities of the people who live in them. They aren’t as saintly as they pose in public. If I spill the beans, there will be many divorces and break-ups.
This is the last warning from the crows. Otherwise, we will aim our droppings over the heads of the birdwatchers. Most of them wear hats and caps- but they will surely get the message. We are also thinking of disrupting the mobile phone transmission by crowding the mobile towers.
I am thankful to author Jas Kohli for giving me a platform to convey my message. But even he avoids clicking the crows. We feel he should take the lead in changing the mindset.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder-but for crows even the beholders are conspicuous by their absence!
Jas Kohli is a noted humour writer. His published work includes three bestselling humour novels- ‘Anything to Look Hot’, ‘Lights! Scalpel! Romance!’ and ‘Lights! Wedding! Ludhiana!’.