This is a typical scenario in an Indian family. The tamed husband eagerly asks on the behalf of his taste buds, ‘What is there for lunch?’ The multitasker wife replies, ‘Kaddu ki sabzi.’ The angles of his mouth fall downwards and he mumbles- why me? But he is aware that any objection will be amplified and returned to him as an argument. The taste buds resign themselves to their fate. So, he swallows the subzi as if it were a life- saving bitter pill.
Vegetables produced by plants of the cucurbitaceae family have caused more confrontations between couples as compared to the ones due to extramarital affairs and have precipitated more arguments between mothers and the kids than those caused by the generation gap. Ghia, kaddu, tinde, lauki, chappan kaddu and tori don’t have much to show in terms of colour, texture or flavour and they fail to tickle the taste buds for most of us when cooked as subzi, with the liberal addition of masalas, turmeric and condiments. An explanation is often given in their favour- one should eat everything. Then why not eat seaweed, stinky tofu, durian and stinging nettle saag. Also, more stylish veggies like peas, potatoes, tomatoes, cauliflower, broccoli, brinjal, spinach and French beans can easily substitute for them, nutrition wise. It is no wonder that the restaurants or even dhabas don’t have tinde or ghia on the menu. Have you ever heard of a pizza with the topping of chappan kaddu?
It is a fact that any food which vexes one’s taste buds may not provide optimum nutrition to the body. The taste buds influence the digestion and assimilation of food because the brain, the big boss of the body, controls the secretion of many gut hormones. Also, the bacteria in our gut perform many important functions. But they are a badmash lot since they demand their favourite foods. So, the North Indian craves for paratha during breakfast, the South Indian for idli, dosa and the North American for bacon. If we eat foods we detest, the gut flora is disturbed and we get the warning sign, ‘hum se panga mat lo’. There is bloating and loss of appetite.
The same kid who makes a face after being served pumpkin curry laps up the Manchurian balls made by incorporating ash gourd in the vegetable mixture (without his knowledge of course). The Agra Petha is also a saving grace for the cucurbit vegetables. Baba Ramdev has come to the rescue of lauki.
We can make the strategic use of these veggies to expel guests overstaying at our home. Serve them twice a day with the explanation- we believe in eating healthy. The guest will not only dread every meal but also feel annoyed at the lack of royal treatment (due to the absence of shahi paneer). Early exit is assured.
It is strongly suggested that while looking for a life partner, do ask him or her about the liking for the above listed vegetables so as to pre-empt a constant source of friction.
You guessed it right! I can’t stand these cucurbit veggies!
Jas Kohli is a noted humour writer. He is the author of three bestselling humour novels, ‘Lights! Wedding! Ludhiana!’, ‘Lights! Scalpel! Romance!’, and ‘Anything to Look Hot’.