Women are half of the human race, Calling them the second sex,
Inferior or secondary to men, Is an act of disgrace.
Perhaps this distinction persists, In the realms divine,
Practising discrimination, Against half of mankind,
In the name of patriarchy, Is a crime.
-Dr. Anand
Gender Equality is a myth, even when we are moving into this electronic age. Science has succeeded in demystifying nature and its objects like the Moon, but it has sorely failed in deciphering the female mystique. What is being a woman? Is a woman simply a human being with altered reproductive organs? In spite of centuries of disregard and neglect, woman has succeeded in holding her own, and she still rules men’s imagination. Apart from the status that our scriptures accord to women, and several attitudinal changes as a result of women’s education, woman is looked upon as second sex, and, if it is a crime, we are committing it unabashedly for centuries.
In fact, we are emerging from a patriarchal society. Everything, including God, has a gender-specific description. It is men who are the final arbiters. No doubt women are manning so many social positions. India has a woman President. Yet, it is no cake walk. They are exposed to several dangers. If these dangers are not physical, they are psychological. What makes me uncomfortable is why we give so much importance to a son? An astrologer once told a visitor: you will get ‘santaan’ [a descendant]. The visitor said, I already have a daughter. The astrologer then said: a girl is not considered ‘santaan’. This is the imbalanced social milieu in which women are operating, trying to find their identity.
Women have to fight at three fronts. With men-kind, the social customs, and the real fight is within themselves, fighting their self-definition as the second sex. It is shocking to see how woman has been treated over the centuries. The different epochs witnessed great wars and why wars? Because a war can establish the supremacy of men. And, in most of the cases, bloodiest wars were fought over women. Can we forget Troy? The Ramayana and the Mahabharata owe their existence, and perhaps their greatness also, to the fact that they re-establish the honour of women who were somehow dishonoured by men of displaced valour [Duryodhana] and misplaced wisdom [Ravana]. While war became an act of exhibitionism for male valour, it brought down a woman to a sex object. Looking back at the social status accorded to women, it becomes clear that while men kept busy in social affairs, women had only one obsession: self-decoration, and their only job was to look beautiful before their men, tempt them, and satisfy them. What can be the purpose of beautiful clothes, and costly ornaments? And women too erred in never challenging this narrative set for them by their men-kind.
WANTED AN EDUCATED ‘DOCILE’ GIRL
Indian family system, hailed as the best in the world, revolves around a ‘cultured docile lady’ who is a caring daughter-in-law, a great mother, and a wonderful wife, all at the same time. Even today, in newspaper ads, we want educated, employed and docile girls in marriage. What is being ‘docile’? Not to assert. Not to ask for your rights. Make sacrifices. And forget yourself. This is the secret of Indian womanhood, which does not inspire any educated woman today. Is it the great Indian family tradition, which denied basic human rights to the girl child? And prospered because the lady of the house reduced herself to a hapless slave? A lady who bore girl after girl, was relegated to the rear of the house, and the male would re-marry, so much for the penchant for a male child. And the only weapon the woman had were her tears, shed in isolation of her bed-room.
THE MEDIEVAL EYE
The world has changed for women. Education has brought them a sense of self-fulfilment. But it seems this education has eluded men-kind. They still look upon woman with medieval eyes. As an object of pleasure. And work place still remains a molestation house for them. Still more dangerous is the organized marriage in which she was given as an item of dowry. The husband and his mother think that she is an intruder. Men, with their insensitivity, have made the journey of self-fulfilment and self-realization more difficult for women.
FIGHTING THE ODDS
What type of a system we should develop so that a woman can grow to her maximum potential undisturbed by social conditions? For this, menfolk need grooming in graceful conduct when they confront a woman, at home or at the work place. Nothing should stand between a young girl and her dreams. A woman’s dignity lies in being considered a daughter and then allowed every facility and love to grow. Marriage or no marriage, the society must learn to give respect to a woman. There are so many single mothers, and girls who have left their parents behind in the villages, and are working in the offices, and they have to move out even for night shifts. Can we afford to expose them to danger and call ourselves civilized? Policing needs to be intensified to ensure that a girl grows up safe from any sort of intrusion, or any fear from menfolk. Marriage is losing its charm for the upcoming generations. We must accept this transformational change and come up with alternative systems which ensure freedom, and dignity to both the sexes. Let no ambitious girl end up in the fridge, cut into pieces.
The author is the President of the International Academy of Ethics. He won the Serbian Award the Charter of Morava and his name adorns the Poets’ Rock in Serbia