LIVE–IN: A MATTER OF CHOICE OR CONVENIENCE?

Are we finally seeing the rapid decline of the old fashioned institution of Marriage which is being replaced slowly but surely with more couples opting for a Livein Relationship, especially after the Supreme Court verdict on November 2013 saying that a long –term live-in –relationship is as good as a marriage. What does this mean to a society where matrimony holds center stage, is our society ready to accept this new concept with open arms at a time when love marriages are verboten to many, honor killing are on an increase & crime against women on a sharp rise, is it then possible for a live-in –relation to survive.

Live –In relationships was a concept initially viewed as one of the adverse effects of western culture has now carved a niche in some strata of the society, it’s no more a rebellious statement but a carefully thought out mature decision as they feel that there is no harm in a live in relationship as it’s a prelude to marriage and helps to know the better half better; some feel it’s just a matter of perception, one can make a marriage a live in relationship or have a live in marriage.

In a recent survey taken among 5000 couples in 40 cities of India: 72% felt that Live –in –Relationship fail and end in break-ups.80% of parents felt those who enter into a live in relationship are “Loose Character”68% believe that live in relationship are born out of “Lust” and not “Love” The pros and cons of both arrangements have always been before us it’s just that we do not fear the consequences anymore. For some it’s a cultural violation, it would never gain respect and for others it’s moving with the times, it’s a part of life and its ever changing faces.

“Nothing is right or wrong, thinking makes it so…”

What is Live–In Relationship?

A live –in – relationship is purely for the fulfillment of physical needs. A live –in –relationship is a walk in & walk out relationship. In a live –in –relationship there are no strings attached & no legal bond & rights between partners. Just because you are ready for your entire life commitment and you are serious about your relationship, you cannot have a strong enough reason for not getting married and continue your live in relationship…Is that cognizant????

Because you don’t have any legally married tag, on your relationship, you don’t have any strings attached, there is no bond of emotional attachment between you and your partner…is that perceptible???Because you live with your girlfriend/ boyfriend and you have a chance to get physically involved you are living together only to fulfill your physical needs…Does that come from a conscious mind????

What actually happens in a live in relationship is that you have loved that person long enough to decide you can move in together, you have put in a lot of thought for living together and are completely ready to move in together. You do everything a normal married person would do and pretend to be married in front of your neighbors and society. The only difference lies here that you are not legally married and don’t carry a tag and certificate pronouncing you husband and wife. Is that why Live in relationships are denounced in India???

What about the increase in broken love marriages, divorces, rise in extra marital affairs, cheating loved ones & familes.What can the Indian society say about all this, women are being disrespected, molested, rapes daily …and what does our society say about all this… simple blame the woman. Marriage was seen as a sacred bond but that was the time when there were no divorces, extra marital affairs etc. now marriage is just a “show-off tag” in society.

Both marriage and live in relationship are same in all aspects except that marriage is accepted blindfolded by society which supports the society of marriage and ignores the crimes done in the name of marriage – dowry death, honor killings, domestic violence etc. Personally, I don’t find any flaw in a live-in –relationship and see no compelling reason for getting married, apart from getting the approval from society which has no role to play in my personal life.

I am in favor of a live in relationship. What do you think about it depends on your mindset. Do you support the viewpoint that live in relationship are the culprits behind social evils against women in India. Do you support that live in relationship break the rules of our society? What kind of rules do you want to live in with where people blindly follow a few things from the past and ignore important things of life? Either way the final choice rest with you and you alone. Nothing is right or wrong thinking makes it so.

If you feel you cannot handle the responsibility, the apparent monotonous boring married life and you need space, freedom they you may opt for a live in relationship. You might not be welcomed and accepted in society, you may anger many people including your loved ones but you won’t be renounced either and the debate on which is better will go on and on. As any relationship can never be a bed of roses, there will be both roses and thorns, it’s for you to choose whether you want sleep on a bed of roses or lie in a bed of thorns.