Crossroads and Turmoil

At times life feels like a series of crossroads and turmoil. One gets caught in the cobweb of emotions, aspirations, dreams and relations. One day you are feeling on the top of the world as a professional and the very next day you make a mistake and all your glory and inflated self-proclaimed self-esteem gets punctured. And that is the nirvana moment, what am I doing and why I am I doing this.
The million-dollar question starts haunting again whatever I am doing is it aligned with my life purpose, or I am still the foolish mortal refusing to learn my karmic lessons and patterns.
This turmoil gets over and after few days we are standing at new crossroads, what is more important relationships or my aspirations. Whose happiness is more important mine or theirs. What is self-love and how is it different than being selfish. It’s a tight rope walk, and you can fall any time flat on your face. Falling down and bouncing back seems like another turmoil.
Next in the series comes earning, savings and enjoying life, which one should get preference. Nonetheless, earning remains at the first place since there is no alternative to that, what comes next, is enjoying life more important than saving? Is security in life more important than creating happy memories with loved ones. I am so lost on these crossroads and wonder where to wander to find my answers. Amidst this wondering and wandering I am trying to find my true self blissfully.
Another crossroad and turmoil that does not let me sleep is the one which involves past and future. Past is not ready to leave me and future seems so bleak and distant. Where lies my safe haven, did I leave it behind or will I find it ahead in life?
All these crossroads and turmoil lead me to introspection. Whatever answers I have been looking outside will I find there? I have few very good friends who help me get over this threshold and retain my balance, these friends just envelope and engulf around me providing me the sanctuary that I look for. These friends for life are my few books that I hold too dear and which never fail to help me get out of my fears.