In the 2nd episode of a special series presented by CatFit, NewsX was joined by a panel of experts who shared their views on ‘Achieving the Impossible’. In this episode, the panel shared various experiences and examples that emphasize coming out of one’s comfort zone and the panel stated that with a warrior mindset and right mental toughness training, anything can be achieved.
The panel included Commander Abhilash Tomy, Captain Yashika H Tyagi and Mr Arpan Dixit, Global Head, CatFit. Captain Yashika Hatwal Tyagi, said in her inaugural address that CatFit is a startup organization primarily made up of military veterans who have designed a breakthrough program using military applications and Special Forces tactics that are adopted by Special Forces Para Commandos, Army, Air Forces and Naval forces to keep up their mental courage, and consistently produce positive results.
Captain Yashika added, “CatFit aims to equip all students, sportsperson, office goers, and homemakers with life skills and to enhance their performance by fortifying their mental, psychological, emotional and physical fitness.”
Panellist Commander Abhilash Tomy is a naval officer who had sailed more than 52,000 nautical miles in his naval career, and he’s also a pilot who has flown naval reconnaissance missions. In the year 2013, he circumnavigated the globe solo and covered Sagar Parikrma nonstop in 151 days, covering 23,000 nautical miles. He is also a recipient of Kirti chakra, Nausena Award, Tenzing Norgay National Adventure Award, and McGregor Award.
Throwing some light on Commander Tomy’s journey, Captain Tyagi said, “In 2018, while competing in Golden Globe Race, a storm broke his small boat and injured him severely, he received a spinal injury that immobilized him totally. Grievously injured, all alone in a small boat with wild sea howling and raging all sides, he displayed exemplary daring guts and courage till he was rescued three days later. Never want to give up, he is now ready to participate in Golden Globe race 2020 and he has even taken voluntary retirement to chase his dream with undivided focus.”
Arpan Dixit, Global Head of CatFit, asked Commander Tomy about how the idea of circumnavigating the globe came to his mind. In reply to this, Commander Tomy said, “The idea of going to sea came to me when I was a child, I must have been six or seven years old and then the Trishna expedition happened, which was an Indian Army expedition, circumnavigating the earth with 19 stops, that really put that thought in my head that even I should grow up to do something like that. I must have been 19 when I got hold of a magazine, in which they spoke about a race called ‘Around Alone’. There were people racing alone around the world on sailboats, and that really reignited that thought in my head, and I thought that at least by the age of 40, I must attend a singularity circumnavigation. That’s how the thought came into my mind and one thing led to another, I joined the Naval Academy Sailing Team and there I learned the ropes of sailing. Then, as part of my career in the Navy, I was a reconnaissance pilot, but I would take time off, go sailing. And, you know, one thing led to another, I joined the Navy team and then I was deputed to be a manager for the Volvo Ocean Race, and then I got a chance to sail with Professor Radhakrishnan, who is sir CV Raman’s son from Oman to Yemen. After that, the Navy put me as Captain Dilip Donde’s shore support, he was doing a single-ended circumnavigation with stops. After that, the Navy wanted to raise the bar higher and they wanted somebody to do a non-stop circumnavigation and without batting an eyelid, I volunteered for it. So that’s how it started for me.”
Sharing his past experiences, Commander Abhilash said, “I think the most interesting experience was I’d just turned 21 probably and was posted in Jamnagar, doing electrical courses. I took a windsurf out in the evening and for some reason, it just stopped sailing properly, it broke down. There was another enterprise sailing close to me, they also had some failure and we started drifting away, rescue boat came to help us and that also had a technical snag. Finally, all of us tied our boats together, and we just drifted away. Next morning at 3 a.m. a meet from the Air Force Station came to our rescue, they located us and picked up two of the five sailors and finally a fishing boat came and rescued the rest of us. So my adventure started at a very early age.”
Talking about his mental resilience, toughness and where it comes from, Commander Abhilash said, “Personally, I don’t think it has to come from somewhere else except within you. I believe everybody has that level of
toughness and it is just a matter of time before they discover it. Either you discover it yourself, or somebody has to guide you. In my case, I believe it was a step by step thing, as my sailing horizons expanded, I took greater risks and I think my mind also expanded and got tougher. As years progressed, it was just about slowly expanding my comfort zone and I reached a stage where, with multiple spine trackers, I was still within my comfort zone.”
Speaking about his idea of being a pilot and sailor, Commander Abhilash said, “I was seven years old when I decided that I wanted to be a pilot and I wanted to be a sailor, the only place in India I could do both was in the Navy. That’s why I finished 12th and I got through engineering and medical colleges, but much to the disappointment of my parents and relatives, I joined the Navy. I did become a pilot and I ended up sailing. As for the flying circumnavigation is concerned, I didn’t have a plan to fly around the world. I did have, you know, some solid sponsors and but due to certain bureaucratic issues, it did not really fructify but I have not left that dream, it will happen someday. And if that happens, I will be the only person to have flown and sailed around the world alone.”
Commander Abhilash then talked about the role of his training in the Indian Naval Academy, he said, “Well, as a child, I was into books. My parents thought that I was extremely impractical and I had no idea of how the world functioned so, they thought that I would be a big failure. When I was joining the Naval Academy, in July 96, my father came to drop me off and as we crossed the gates of the Naval Academy, he said, ‘You’re going in a boy, but you will come out a man’. That’s what exactly happened in the next three years, my life completely changed. I was swimming, playing games, running cross countries, and doing academics. I was doing things that I thought were impossible and that’s what the training of the Naval Academy teaches us. It just proved that with training, you can completely change your life and change it to a degree that you won’t recognize it after some time and probably why, the dream of becoming a pilot did not look unachievable. It was just a matter of putting your heart and soul into it. Similarly, when I was preparing for the circumnavigation, less than 100 people have successfully completed a non stop circumnavigation of the Earth, whereas almost 6000 people have climbed Everest, and 600 people have gone to space. So, that’s how difficult nonstop circumnavigation is. All thanks to the attitude that was put into me when I was at the Naval Academy that going for a circumnavigation looked like a walk in the park.”
“Achieving the impossible requires a warrior mindset and mental toughness training. Congratulations to Team catFit for being the pioneers of this field in India, as this is the need of the hour”, he added.
Speaking about the personnel that works for CatFit and how they achieve their aim of performance enhancement, Mr. Arpan said, “We’ve lucked out with Special Forces tactics. So essentially, we’ve taken the best of what the special forces and the black cat commandos do and we’ve replicated that for corporate systems, students, etc. As far as the trainers are concerned, we have motivational speakers, experts, psychologists, counsellors, Physical Fitness Trainers, toughness trainers, storytellers and personality development trainers. The whole idea is when killing somebody, it requires a level of mental, physical, psychological and physical training so that when the person goes back to doing what he does, they do it better and that is our whole idea behind this.”
Captain Yashika the spoke about the aspects of mental toughness that CatFit brings into the civilian world. She said, “CatFit’s moto is- Mind Matters. We believe that your mind is a powerhouse and everything is achievable if your mind can believe it. The coping mechanisms, how to deal with adversity, the adversity quotient as we call it, is essential and trainable. How soon can you bounce back, once adversity hits you? That is what we can train you in. I am a leadership multiplier because I draw strength from my own personal experiences. Mental toughness is gender-neutral and when I speak with personal experience, I think people connect, and understand where I’m coming from.”
Commander Abhilash talked about his Golden Globe dream and how that has shaped his life. He said, “I’ll give you a brief history of the Golden Globe Race. In 1968, nine men attempted to sail around the world alone without stops, to find out who would be the first person in the world to do so. And out of those nine people, two ended up committing suicide and another, ended up going around the world twice and didn’t come back to civilization because he thought it was not worth it. However, nobody finished except for one gentleman, whose name was Sir Robin Knox Johnston. That race has been known to be the toughest race of all times in the entire history of sailing and 50 years later, that race was repeated. It was called the Golden Globe race of 2018. I threw my hat into the ring and I got a special invitation from these guys. 18 people started, out of those only five finished, I broke my spine and lost my boat. Gregor McGuckin lost his boat, Susie Goodall lost her boat. That turned out to be a very difficult and extremely interesting race. Now I’m planning to take part in the next edition of the same race in 2022. Mental preparation, I don’t need any because I believe, that’s half the battle won. I need a sponsor because that plays the most important part. In a race like this, with a good sponsor, you can have a very well prepared boat and a fantastic team behind you. Then it’s just a matter of sailing around the world which is the easiest thing in the process.”
Commander Abhilash spoke about his warrior mindset, service experience and sailing experience in motivating the youth, he said, “From sailing, I’ve understood that this can completely change a person. It makes you patient, it gives you a lot of skills, for the non-stop circumnavigation and you learn how to be a cook, carpenter, electrician, engineer, navigator, communicator, a lot of skills are required to be a sailor.
I believe, that if every youngster in this country of this generation went to sea as a sailor, or in some capacity, this entire country is going to be completely different after one generation and in a good way. My aim after retiring from the Navy is to help Indians go to sea, and I think that’s the biggest service I can do to the country.”
Speaking about her experience of fighting in the Kargil War, while being five months pregnant, Captain Yashika said, “I never for a minute felt that I am unfit to do the task. I was there, in my full Josh. I was medically fit and normal. I was just soldier of Indian Army doing my bit like everyone else there and I got a thumping battle report and two medals. See, it is said ‘Mann ke haare haar hai, mann ke jeete jeet’. So, my resilience came from my mind and my body supported me because my mind was ready.”
Commander Abhilash talked about the avenues open for enthusiasts and the economic, physical and mental challenges that they should be prepared for when taking up sailing. He said, “To be honest, it’s a myth that sailing is an expensive sport. If you look at any other sport, like cricket or something, you need investment in real estate to set up a stadium. That real estate is free when it comes to sailing, the sea is free, anybody can access it. Unlike cricket, where your personal gear is just a cricket bat, ball and a couple of sets of wickets, in sailing, you need boats. But sailors have found a way around it by having a pool of boats, they’ve founded clubs, and you can easily become a member of a club and start sailing. If you put in 30-40,000 you can buy a boat for your kid, and in no time you will find your kid is totally independent boy or girl of 10 years, rigging her/ his boat, taking that boat to sea all by themselves and coming back, is a sight to behold.”
Talking about his recommendations of where to start teaching sailing, Commander Abhilash said, “There are enough clubs which have popped up all across the country and there was a time when it was only the military that had sailing clubs, but now a lot of private and civilian sailing clubs with different levels of membership. But if you just want to be a sailing member, want to access the boat, there are cheaper memberships. You’ve got facilities in some of the hotels, which have sailing boats that you can rent and go sailing and go with an instructor as well. But there is a big fear of the sea and people are scared to swim. This subject is not very well known in schools and children don’t really learn much about sailing or the fact that there is a sport called sailing. I think it’s an awareness change that needs to happen, once that change happens, the desire to go to sea will automatically come. Those who go to sea once will never look back, they would want to go repeatedly.”
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IS WEB 3.0 CHANGING THE INTERNET?
Web 3.0 is proposed to take the power back from tech giants and give every individual their own web presence on the internet.
Do you realise how different the internet we use today is from what it was just 10 years back? The internet itself has undergone several shifts to become what we see today. But this is not the end.
Some experts say that today’s internet is what the automobile industry looked like in the 1920s. This means, even after being around for almost 20 years, it still is in its growing stage. Changing and improving every other day.
With this ever-advancing technology, yet comes another buzzword-Web3. It has become the core focus of discussions among tech enthusiasts and crypto-geeks, an idea that focuses on eliminating all the intermediaries.
The World Wide Web was created so that every individual could do anything they wanted to. But, instead, the tech giants and the algorithms instead started dominating. Web 3.0 is proposed to take back the power from these dominators and give every individual their own web presence on the internet.
But where did it all start? Let’s dive into its origin!
WEB 1.0 AND WEB 2.0
The initial days of the web only allowed limited features. In the 1990s, with Web 1.0, people could only read information on the internet. There were no ways to interact with the information provider. Connected merely by hyperlinks, the syntactic web provided no option for the end-users to do anything else but just read what’s provided.
The era of static web pages ended with the emergence of Web 2.0 in the 2000s. It signifies today’s internet. Social media platforms and search engines like Facebook, Google, and Twitter have started giving people the freedom to interact, connect, and transact online. Web 2.0 encouraged end-users to transition from passive to active content providers. Today, almost everyone, from every corner of the world, can access the internet.
Although developed for every individual, critics say that big corporations have dominated the internet and exercised too much power.
Web 3.0 is intended to take back the power and give it to every user equally.
EVOLUTION TO 3.0
The platforms we use today are owned by a group of companies. Web3 aims at changing this aspect by coming up with new social media platforms and search engines that will have no controller—decentralised.
Experts say that the next version of the internet, the semantic web or Web 3.0, will be more intelligent than the one at present. In simple words, the idea behind this is to merge today’s worldwide web with Blockchain technology—the famous technology behind cryptocurrencies.
In Web 3.0, developers build programs on the blockchain, decentralised peer-to-peer servers, or a hybrid of the two called Apps.
WILL WEB 3.0 BE THE NEW NORM?
Web 3.0 has huge potential, and apparently, it’s already here. But some experts say that Web 3 won’t totally replace Web 2 anytime soon and will work simultaneously.
This means blockchain-based social media platforms may grow and provide more efficiency than what we are experiencing now. But, it won’t wipe off the already dominating tech giants in the near future. There is also a huge chance that the Web2 companies will merge into the Web3 technologies to stay relevant in the ever-advancing world.
A good example would be how Facebook, a Web2 world company, tapped into the metaverse space.
WHY IS WEB 3.0 HYPED UP?
There are a lot of reasons why everyone is looking out for the next generation of the internet.
Web 3.0 is aimed at providing:
1. Complete ownership of data to the end-users.
2. Elimination of intermediaries or central authority.
3. Privacy and tracking of information.
4. Incentivise creators andeveryone maintaining the network.
Without a doubt, having so much of society’s social fabric and economic systems dependent on infrastructure controlled by a few private businesses is detrimental.
WHAT ABOUT ITS DOWNSIDES?
With every good thing, come its drawbacks. Even with the highly intelligent paradigm shift of the internet from 2.0 to 3.0, there are certain challenges to face.
Devices that are less advanced won’t be able to tap into the new stage.
Too complicated for newcomers.
Web 1.0 will appear even more outdated.
Sceptics say “Web 3.0 is vapourware”, i.e., something that’s being promised but can never be delivered. Others say that people have too much money to invest and to do that they just need a reason.
Nonetheless, even though Web 3.0 is mostly theoretical as of now, if the above problems can be fixed, we will be able to experience a massive shift in the internet space for the good.
It is not about taking down Facebook or Google, but more about less control and transparency.
We deserve much better than to be controlled by powerful monopolies. Any platform that paves the pathway for transparency and freedom is sure to take over the digital space in the future.
Web 3.0 has huge potential, and apparently, it’s already here. But some experts say that Web 3 .0 won’t totally replace Web 2.0 anytime soon and will work simultaneously.
The next internet stage will change the way we interact. More precisely, Web 3.0 will be:TRANSPARENT
Transparent in the sense that applications and programs will be built using open-source software by an open community of developers. The development and deployment of these applications will be transparent, and anyone can benefit from the available virtual resources. TRUSTLESS
This means the total elimination of intermediaries. People can transact and interact without the involvement of any “trusted” third parties. PERMISSIONLESS
In today’s internet stage, the few big companies that own the social media platforms that we use hold all our information. Yes, every bit of data we put out there. We won’t know exactly how this information is being used, as scary as it may sound.
Decentralisation targets this side of the web. Web 3.0 will ensure everyone can stay autonomous. There would be no need to share sensitive personal data. Plus, since there will be no governing body, which means, anyone can use the internet to their benefit without anyone’s approval.
Indian Freedom fighters: The ladies beyond their time
The freedom we have been bestowed is a corollary of the blood and sweat of the brave hearts who had the spark to outshine the mastery of British ascendency.
Let’s learn the untold story of some gallant fighters who gave us Free India and uprooted the enslavement.
In an era where women were believed to be delicate dolls adorned with jewels, Durgawati Devi, also known as Durga Bhabhi, crafted history with her contributions to the National Freedom Struggle against the British East India Company. ‘The Agni of India’ married at the age of 11, became a member of Naujawan Bharat Sabha, and played an important role in the escape of Bhagat Singh after Saunders’ killing in 1928. She attempted to slay Lord Hailey (an atrocious Britisher) as a revenge for Bhagat Singh’s hanging but failed, consequently landing in prison. The brave lady was much beyond her time, bearing the flag of women’s empowerment.
At the age of 62, the dauntless lady Matingini Hazra set an example of a zealous nationalist. In 1932, when the Civil disobedience movement was relaumched, Poor pesant Matingini became instrumental in the freedom struggle and started actively participating in movements aiming to dethrown the Britishers. In 1942, when the Congress workers decided to besiege the police stations and government offices, Hazra took the initiative to lead the movement. The 73-year-old lady paved the way along with six thousand supporters to capture Tamluk Police Station. The Crown police ordered the march to dissolve when it got close to the town, invoking Section 144 of the Indian Penal Code. A bullet struck Courageous Matangini as she moved forward and begged the cops not to shoot at the gathering. Despite being shot, she moved forward, changing Vande Matram. Drenched in blood, taking her last breath, the warrior held the tricolour high.
Bhikaji Rustom Cama
It was August 21, 1907. Thousands of people were gathered to attend the International Socialist Conference in Stuttgart, Germany. The fearless Bhikaji Rustom Cama took to the attention of those thousand representatives and unfurled the Indian Tricolour on the foreign ground, leaving the crowd awestruck.
“Behold, the flag of independent India is born! It has been made sacred by the blood of young Indians who sacrificed their lives in its honour. In the name of this flag, I appeal to lovers of freedom all over the world to support this struggle. “
The entire crowd was amazed by the unforeseen incident, and stood to salute the Indian flag.
Despite being aware of the repercussions of defying the British, the intrepid heroes, or shall I say heroines, exhibited an imbued patriotism.
Craftomaniacs and Handloom Hysteria
This year is the commemoration of the 8th Indian handloom celebrations. The theme this time is towards increasing the income of weavers, with the focus on augmenting the sales count of handloom items on e-commerce websites.
The latest disorder seen among people is craftomania. It is the latest rage and the most revolting pseudo idea shared online. Also, it is gross when every nook and corner boutique owner puts out a photograph of their tailors with a placard that says, “I made it.”
A handloom worker weaves a unique and beautiful design.A handloom worker weaves at Sintha Handloom and Handicrafts Complex CFC, in Imphal.
If you look closer, there is a larger canvas of inequality. There are block printmakers, tie and dye workers, some who stitch the button holes in an exorbitant garment, and also the embroiderers who thread the needle with sometimes very poor visibility, yet they stoically continue the craft. Do they equally benefit financially from this craftomania disease? One thing is for sure, it makes the ones sporting this mania the “intelligent, aware folks,” but the truth is far from the picture that’s painted.
Many craftomaniacs do not hesitate to haggle on the price of a handloom sari or a few metres of fabric with the non-English-speaking weaver but are part of the handloom hysteria for exactly one day.
This year is the commemoration of the 8th Indian handloom celebrations. The theme this time is towards increasing the income of weavers, with the focus on augmenting the sales count of handloom items on e-commerce websites.
But we are far away from the 26,73,891 handloom weavers, spread across India, many of whom remain officially unaccounted for.
According to Prasad Bidapa, the iconic fashion Guru of India, who has been representing Indian handlooms across the world, said, “Handloom is the handwriting of our heritage, a continuous process since ancient times of weaving exquisite fabrics. India is unique, with a variety of hand-woven treasures that define our culture and make us the proud torchbearers of tradition and beauty. Wear handloom often!”
There is no definite historical evidence as to when the Indian weaving industry started. Though, according to popular belief and circumstances, it might have started in the 8th century, which dates back to the Chalukya dynasty, when weaving was in full swing.
In the 21st century, the handloom sector is the second largest economic activity after agriculture. We have around 6 million farmers in India who have their livelihoods dependent on cotton production.
The handloom industry dates back to the pre-independence period, and the new economic policy in India was implemented to thrust this industry towards growth. But, we are yet to see these policies fully implemented and also the lost craft reinvented, keeping it in sync with modernity.
As the handloom industry is mostly concentrated in rural India, it remains the most unorganised sector in the country. But there are many organisations like Hundred Hands, Dastkar, and FICCI FLO, which have introduced initiatives where the weavers and artisans can directly sell to the buyers. According to Jayshree Menon, Chairperson of FICCI FLO Bengaluru Chapter, “By taking handlooms forward, we are going to be promoting the richness of our culture and history. There is so much potential that it offers, all we need to do is to bring it into the mainstream.
The aftermath of Covid-19 left a very large number of weavers who suffered losses in business. Many of them have changed jobs, and some have abandoned spinning yarns in favour of power looms in order to save manpower, money, and time. In the process, they also often lose the art that they are bestowed with.
The National Handloom Development Programme (NHDP) is an attempt to facilitate the sustainable development of handloom weavers located in and outside identified handloom clusters into cohesive, self-sustaining work. But there is still a long way ahead, though a few brands are incorporating Indian handlooms into their style.
Aratrik Dev Burman, Founder of Tilla, opines, “Indian handlooms form the core of Tilla. Besides being unique and beautiful, they employ a very large number of artisans all over the country, keeping traditional knowledge systems and identities alive. Our textiles are among India’s finest gifts to the world!”
India needs to create a wholesome organised sector for the handloom industry, where lost and dying arts can once again be reinvented.
One does get turned off as a buyer with the selection of colours on motifs that can sometimes be garishly kitschy with the sensibilities of a rural product. As much as the world market appreciates the idea of handmade items, we have to also understand that to become a big player in the international market, the weavers need to be trained and educated on softer colours and quality that is on par with the world. This can fetch a good price, thereby making their lives better and keeping the art alive.
Many genuine craft lovers have complained, saying that there is a delay in receiving products from weavers. They are still not trained in understanding the on-time delivery commitments. Therefore, many genuine people give up this cause to avoid the embarrassment of not being able to ensure timely delivery of goods.
One must admit, craftomania is a very good movement, but it can’t survive if it remains only at a superficial level. This is way deeper and more challenging than just groups getting together to sell the idea of “handmade in India” to many Indians who don’t care.
Like Independence Day is celebrated across India, we need to also introduce Handloom Day as a national day of heritage among school kids who are generally busy thinking of the next iPhone model to buy or the latest fast fashion to don. They need to be educated on how fatal it is to the environment and to an economy that has many weavers languishing in poverty.
According to Pratima Pandey, Founder and Director of Pramaa, “Handloom needs to be respected as a language by the younger generation.”
Mohua Chinappa is an author and a podcaster of a show called The Mohua Show.
WHEN JASON MOMOA TURNED FLIGHT ATTENDANT, INTERNET GOES CRAZY
Jason Momoa surprised the passengers aboard a flight to Hawaii on Tuesday as he pushed the snacks cart, handing out water bottles. The video has now gone viral on social media and people are appreciating the actor for being so humble.
According to a report by the New York Post, Jason served water bottles of his own ‘Manalunu’ brand that promises to be a sustainable company. As per the report, Jason even gifted every passenger 10,000 Hawaiian Airlines miles.
On the work front, Jason will next be seen sharing screen space with Amber Heard in ‘Aquaman 2’. The sequel will also star original cast members – Nicole Kidman, Temuera Morrison, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Patrick Wilson, and Dolph Lundgren. New stars to join the cast of the forthcoming action flick include Indya Moore and Jani Zhao. The film is slated for release in March next year.
LOVE MAKES THE WORLD GO AROUND
Love is a spectrum, and the two ends are destruction and construction. We have destroyed lives in the name of love and built mausoleums in the name of love.
Carbon dating love is easy. It began with the love story of Shiva and Sati (Parvati), to Krishna and Radha, Savitri and Satyavan, Nal and Damayanti, Romeo and Juliet, Heer and Ranjha, Mirabai, Helen and Paris, Cleopatra and Mark Anthony, and the list is never ending. Every day, there are people falling in love, dying for love, killing for love, heartbroken because of love and living because of love. But thousands of years later, love still stays as allusive and alluring as ever. There are more than 100 million love songs and countless stories, ballads, poems, movies on love and yet it seems like it is never enough.
The word love means many things-affection, bonding, broken heart, compassionate love, conjugal love, courtly love, falling in love, free love, friendship love, interpersonal relationship, intimacy, love addiction, love at first sight, triangle love, loving-kindness, lovesickness, love-struck, obsession love, passion, puppy love, relationship love, self-love, unconditional love, unrequited love, sexual passion, deep friendship, love for anyone, love for family, longstanding love and love for self. And most of us have experienced all of these.
Psychologists say that love can be understood in terms of three components. These three are intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment. Each component manifests a different aspect of love.
Intimacy: Intimacy refers to feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness in loving relationships. It thus includes within its purview those feelings that give rise, essentially, to the experience of warmth in a loving relationship.
Passion: Passion refers to the drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, sexual consummation, and related phenomena in loving relationships. The passion component includes within its purview those sources of motivational and other forms of arousal that lead to the experience of passion in a loving relationship.
Decision/commitment: Decision/commitment refers, in the short-term, to the decision that one loves a certain other person, and in the long-term, to one’s commitment to maintain that love.
The three components of love interact with each other, and we form certain stories of and about love in our heads. Almost all of us are exposed to large numbers of diverse stories that convey different conceptions of how love can be understood. Some of these stories may be explicitly intended as love stories; others may have love stories embedded in the context of larger stories. They could be Eros (sexual passion), Philia (deep friendship), Ludus (playful love), Agape (love for everyone), Pragma (longstanding love), Philautic (love of the self), Storge (family love), Mania (obsessive love).
Various potential partners fit our stories to greater or lesser degrees, and we are more likely to succeed in close relationships with people whose stories more rather than less closely match our own. Although, the stories we create are our own, they draw on our experience of living in the world–on fairy tales we may have heard when we were young, from the models of love relationships we observe around us in parents and relatives, from television and movies, from conversations with other people about their relationships, and so forth.
Although the number of possible stories like genders is probably infinite, certain genres of stories seem to keep emerging again and again.
The problem with love is that we project our fantasies onto people and expect them to play the part, but people aren’t empty vessels for us to fill up with our daydreams and stories. When the daydreams, stories of two people complement, supplement, overlap, and are in sync, then we get a workable, sustainable, happy love story, but often it does not happen.
While there is no magic potion to ensure a never-ending love story, knowing the stories that are running in our head and in our partner’s helps towards understanding ourselves and our partner and making love last.
So, what’s your kind of love story?
• Love is an Addiction: Strong anxious attachment; clinging behaviour; anxiety at thought of losing partner.
• Love is a Business: Relationships and love is a business proposition; money is power; partners in close relationships as business partners.
• Love is a Collection: Partner viewed as “fitting in” to some overall scheme; partner viewed in a detached way as one collects artefacts.
• Love is a Cookbook: Doing things a certain way (recipe) results in relationship being more likely to work out; departure from recipe for success leads to increased likelihood of failure.
• Love is a Fantasy: Often expects to be saved by a knight in shining armour or to marry a princess and live happily ever after.
• Love is a Game: Love as a game or sport with the chase and the kill.
• Love is like Gardening: Relationships need to be continually nurtured and tended to like a garden.
• Love is like a Government: (a) Autocratic – One partner dominates or even controls other. (b) Democratic: Two partners equally share power.
• Love is like History: Events of relationship form an indelible record; keep a lot of records-mental or physical.
• Love is Horror: Relationships become interesting when you terrorise or are terrorised by your partner.
• Like is like a House and Home: Relationships have their core in the home, through its development and maintenance.
• Love is Humour: Love is strange and funny.
• Love is a Mystery: Love is a mystery and you should not let too much of yourself be known.
• Love is like a Police: You’ve got to keep close tabs on your partner to make sure he/she toes the line, or you need to be under surveillance to make sure you behave.
• Love is like Pornography: Love is dirty, and to love is to degrade or be degraded.
• Love is a Recovery: Survivor mentality; view that after past trauma, person can get through practically anything.
• Love is like Religion: Either views love as a religion, or love as a set of feelings and activities dictated by religion.
• Love is a Sacrifice: To love is to give of oneself or for someone to give of him or herself to you.
• Love is Science: Love can be understood, analysed, and dissected, just like any other natural phenomenon.
• Love is a Science Fiction: Feeling that partner is like an alien-incomprehensible and very strange.
• Love is like Sewing: Love is whatever you make it.
• Love is a Theatre: Love is scripted, with predictable acts, scenes, and lines and drama.
• Love is like a Travel: Love is a journey one undertakes and is like a journey too.
• Love is like War: Love is a series of battles in a devastating but continuing war.
• Love is a Student-teacher: Love is a relationship like that between a student and a teacher, one knows it all and the other must be taught.
Every day, there are people falling in love, dying for love, killing for love, heartbroken because of love and living because of love. But thousands of years later, love still stays as allusive and alluring as ever. There are more than 100 million love songs and countless stories, ballads, poems, movies on love.
Prof Chavi Bhargava Sharma, a PHD in Psychology,is the Founder and CEO of Indic Center for Psychological Wellness and Holistic Health and Conversationists-Talking Cues.
What will happen if you change your display picture to Tricolour?
“At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom,” said Pandit Nehru on 14 August, 1947.
The speech ‘Tryst with destiny’ by Jawaharlal Nehru marked the end of 200 years of British Shackles leading India to the dawn of Freedom.
Celebrating 75 year of Independence, the government proposed the movement “Har Ghar Tiranga” to instil us with the spir nationalism nalism and to build a nation ‘where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought and action.’
Digging into the history of our nation,Pingali Venkayya, the Indian Freedom Fighter, born on August 2, 1876, took the responsibility to outline the Indian National Flag.
It was on April 1, 1921, when Pingali presented the design of the tricolour to Mahatma Gandhi. The predicament lies in the fact that the artist died in abject poverty and remained forgotten in society.
Prime Minister Narendra Modi on August 2 suggested the idea of changing the display image of the social media account to tricolour until August 15. The gesture of changing the display picture might appear futile to some, but it has great cognitive profoundity.
PM Modi proposed the idea on August 2 with the contemplative aim of commemorating the birth date of the forgotten artist Pingali Venkayya, the designer of the tricolour.
Displaying the Indigenous work of art( National flag) as our display picture carries out the idea of imbibing the spirit of Aatma Nirbhar Bharat. Not only does it symbolise our self-subsisting approach, but it also marks the token of unity.
A similar display picture of everyone in a country with a population of over 1.3 billion will emenate the objective of our being Indian beyond all the religions, casts, and creeds.
We have witnessed the marvels of unity during the period of freedom struggle against the East India Company for over 200 years, and now is the time to exhibit unity in order to exterminate the challenges hindering our growth.
The National Flag is a perfect representation of diversified Indian culture. Additionally, it represents India’s integrity, unwavering courage, and esteem around the world.
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