Middle-class Indians are not supposed to deviate from the standard itinerary in their life journey- Fairly pampered childhood, teenage with waywardness within limits, followed by a career which makes you one up on your relatives. Then marry at the marriageable age, follow the dictum ‘do ya teen bache, hote hain ghar mein acche’, incarcerate your offspring in the custody of a spouse and take responsibility for the grandchildren till you start behaving like a child. Finally, one is supposed to depart to the heavens while leaving assets which can sustain the future generations even if they turn out to be good for nothing. Deviants have been dealt with by persuasion, coercion or even ostracization.
But nowadays the deviants may be becoming mainstream. Since many of them are earning big bucks, often in dollars, strong arm tactics have as much influence on them as West’s sanctions have on present day Russia. However, the daughter of a friend of mine has employed an ingenious tactic. She takes a promise from her parents about them not mentioning the word ‘marriage’ for the subsequent six months. Once the period is over, she asks for an extension citing a different reason. A boy in our extended family is waiting to buy a big flat and an SUV- obviously he feels that love is not the sole propellant for ‘take off’ of married life. Others argue that they can’t be saddled with responsibility for another person since they are barely able take care of themselves. In the metros, live-in couples don’t create an epidemic of gossip anymore.
Recently, at our college reunion, a chronic bachelor amongst us was mobbed and various matches were suggested for him. He exclaimed, ‘Why have all the married guys suddenly become so concerned about me?’
Pat came the reply, ‘We are jealous of you and want you to sail in the same boat as us!’
So, some of the married ones are adding fuel to the fire by making the unmarried ones feel superior.
Marriage aversion is a full-blown crisis which is receiving scant attention from the powers that be. Public as well as the media are also obsessed with political actors, movie actors, flashy preachers, pushy business leaders, history sheeters, cricketers and disasters.
Just think of the plight of parents whose son or daughter are above thirty and yet dodging marriage. Their friends and relatives lose no opportunity to give subtle hints that they are not up to the mark as parents. The typical comments-
lWe are eagerly waiting for the event- so that we can dress up like royalty and shake a leg (abject surrender to the taste buds and drinking irresponsibly is implied).
lYou should have arranged a meeting with an attractive girl/ handsome boy by deceit. That could have made him/her go into a trance and led to an instant assent.
lThere is an age after which good matches are difficult to find- this is true even for Salman Khan and Rekha.
Dating apps are a better career option for the future than online matrimonial sites!
Jas Kohli is a noted humour writer. His published work includes three bestselling humour novels- ‘Anything to Look Hot’, ‘Lights! Scalpel! Romance!’ and ‘Lights! Wedding! Ludhiana!’.