Small children do not hold beliefs. They simply know. They know that something is either good or bad, black or white, pleasing or not. They are full of curiosity, energy and enthusiasm. It is only as a child grows that they begin to form ‘beliefs.’ These beliefs begin to slowly erode the curiosity, the energy and the enthusiasm—the joy of being alive.
Where do these self-limiting beliefs come from? As we mature, we begin to be influenced by the needs and desires of the body. The five senses influence us, as do the roles we hold in society, the relationships we have, and the responsibilities we need to address. The events and experiences that we have also influence us. Painful experiences caused by events or people play over and over again in the mind, as if by doing that the past could be changed. All this makes us heavy and afraid of being who we are.
Beliefs that we hold affect our feelings. Feelings determine our attitude. Attitude is the basis of our behaviour. Our behaviour and the results of our behaviour enter our state of consciousness and reinforce our beliefs.
With meditation and a reawakened understanding of who we really are, beings of light, beings of spiritual consciousness, we can eliminate the heaviness of all that is limiting us. We begin to shine with all our true virtues and talents that may have remained hidden for a very long time.
Here are seven self-limiting beliefs that may be holding us back from achieving all we want to achieve, and living the way we want to live.
1. “I am powerless” This belief drains away all creativity and innovation. There is always something we can do. Replace this belief with “I can, because I think I can”.
2. “I am not as good as them” This belief is shrouded in ego and low self-esteem. When the awareness of who I truly am is gently absorbed, through regular practice of meditation, then this belief can be replaced with “I am no less”.
3. “I don’t have time” This is a mantra that is common to many in the speed-driven lives we all live. Take away all the stress and frustration that this belief makes us feel and replace it with “I have all the time in the world”.
4. “Happiness comes from outside” This belief is more like a myth that is perpetuated by movies and novels. That happiness will come when I find the right person, get the right job, earn the magical amount of money. Real happiness comes when I see my true value. The value of the pure soul that is trusted, helpful and appreciated. When I send love and good wishes to all, I have contributed to the well-being of many, many souls. The truth is “Happiness comes from within.”
5. “I don’t deserve to be happy” This belief is often bound up with religious doctrine. If I have ‘sinned’ or if I believe in some way that I am ‘bad’, then happiness is not for me. In reality, happiness is a choice we make at any given moment. All people have a right to be here, and deserve to be happy. Each one has hidden talents, undiscovered skills, untapped attributes. The thoughts I choose are what make me happy. So instead, I can choose the belief, “I’m loveable, capable and it’s my choice to be happy”.
6. “Others won’t like the real me” Many people walk around wearing a mask. A mask of how they think others want them to be or already perceive them to be. They pretend all the time, because they have not fully understood who they really are. This is a very tricky position to take on. If we are not careful, we can project onto others and imagine we know what others are thinking of us, because if we were them, that is what we would be thinking. It is an illusion. A powerful belief to counteract this thought process is, “The opinions of me that others have, reflect their character, not mine”.
7. “I am too old to change” This belief becomes embedded when we have recognised a personality trait that we feel uncomfortable about and would like to change. We try and try, but it stubbornly refuses to go away. That belief then becomes part of our state of consciousness, and we stop trying. However, “There is no time like the present to put good thoughts into action”.
These, and other self-limiting beliefs, bring heaviness and can all be counteracted. The philosophy of Rajyoga meditation, as taught by the Brahma Kumaris, can help me understand what is true about life and the self, and I then start to see those around me as intrinsically lovely. Operating from that consciousness, new and powerful beliefs flourish and alter the trajectory of my life. “I am a pure, powerful, capable, loveable, spiritual personality.
Ruth Liddle is a teacher and coordinator at the Brahma Kumaris centre in Manchester, UK.