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LEARNING FROM LONELINESS AND BEING ALONE

In recent months, many of us have been in situations where we have found ourselves spending more time on our own. For some, this is a unique experience and can cause great discomfort and a feeling of loneliness. Many find that the antidote to that sensation is any form of distraction; they put the TV […]

In recent months, many of us have been in situations where we have found ourselves spending more time on our own. For some, this is a unique experience and can cause great discomfort and a feeling of loneliness. Many find that the antidote to that sensation is any form of distraction; they put the TV on in the background, even if they are not watching it, or they have the radio on, just to feel that someone else is ‘present’. These activities are avoidance techniques because when we talk about being with the self, we become aware of being in solitude, and that means being quiet and introspective, and then the question arises, what am I going to find inside myself?

In fact, there is nothing to fear. Whatever is inside of us is part of us and not something ‘other’. We need to have a deep desire to create a sacred space for the self and understand that there is a lot of beauty inside, waiting to be rediscovered. When we create spaces between what we think and what we see, between what our thoughts are and what our words are, we can find this very sweet and soft inner world of thoughts and feelings. This inner space creates our outer world, and it is important to become a friend of my own inner world.

Most people believe that thoughts just ‘arrive’ in the mind. This is not true. Thoughts are generated by us, but are fed from our past experiences, our desires, our expectations.

So, let me go inside and find out what is going on, what I am thinking and feeling, and then I can begin to deliberately create the thoughts that will be powerful and beneficial.

My glass can be half empty or half full. It all depends on how I think. I can deliberately create a thought of deep peace, for example, or reframe my thoughts with positivity about a situation I am concerned about. This will help to lessen the addiction to keep on ‘doing’ and give more space for me to start ‘being’ in my inner world. We learn the ability to stay with our own self, to commit to being in our own company. This is the gateway to the art of meditation and of freedom from anxiety and worry. It is the path to peace.

Manda Patel is a Rajyoga teacher based at the Brahma Kumaris Global Retreat Centre, Oxford, UK.

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