I will get up in another 15 minutes.But what’s the point, get up! You need to get going anyways so hurry up! Why do I need to do this job? This is not what I wanted to do in life. Let me put on FM radio; at least I can listen to the music of my choice. If only I had taken the offer of moving to Bangalore. Wait! I forgot my mobile again. Arghh! Told you to get up early or you will mess up and you did!
This is how I sound to myself in my head and believe you me this goes on and on…yes I talk to myself all the time because I’m a very patient listener to me. But who doesn’t indulge in talking to themselves in their heads, if not all the time, well sometimes we all do that. We listen to the little voices inside of our heads constantly chattering and ready to barge in at all the time to suggest, give opinions or just make small talk with us.
There was a time when I was too conscious of speaking to myself out loud for it turned that everyone around me was either amazement or confused. Way too many times I have been in that spot where people around me would often ask, “Excuse me, are you talking to me?” and very awkwardly I would apologise, “No, I’m sorry I was just talking to myself” and they would just give that look which said you are insane and I would just chuckle and tell myself, yeah bet you are right, I’m insane. But my self-consciousness about my taking to me in my mind vanished because people started using smart phones with blue tooth headsets. What a blessing in disguise for self-talkers like me, and now it wasn’t possible for anyone to tell whether I was talking to myself or somebody else, and I stopped apologising to others for having a conversation with myself.
I’m not crazy, but I do talk to myself all the time, and when I say all the time I really do mean ALL THE TIME. But I do believe there are many people like me, who like talking to invisible audiences. In fact one fine day when I read what millennials and Gen Zee’s are posting on social media about self-talk like, “If you see me talking to myself, don’t be alarmed. I am getting expert advice” and another one saying goes “Yeah, I talk to myself, especially when I want to talk with someone intelligent!” Now that was very reassuring and it felt I’m not the only one to be found talking to herself and it also confirmed my belief in self-talk. Come to think of it, we all have conversations with ourselves; only most of us do not have these conversations out loud.
I think when we all spend maximum time talking to ourselves in our minds, in fact the truth is when we are awake and we aren’t talking to someone, we are definitely talking to ourselves. It’s never quite up there in our minds; it’s a big chatter box. What we think gets translated into the feelings and before something does happens in real life, dialogues, conversations and confrontations run on repeat mode in our minds with a complete narrative determined of what to say, how to act, counter acts and react. Come to think of it, when we talk to ourselves all the time, our voice becomes the voice of reason when we are faced with a dilemma, or internal conflicts, then articulating our own thoughts to oneself out loud deepens our beliefs and helps us to re-affirm, re-determine and re-align with our own true self.
Talking to myself has helped me in being more creative, stabilising my emotions and staying calm and composed during times of crisis. It’s not that by talking to myself, I have eliminated the need to have other people close enough to listen and give me advice, but it has facilitated me to pause and listen to myself first, tap into a voice in my mind which has an innate desire to be heard. For sure one self-talk does improves the confidence in one’s own perception of things and another it makes us more solution oriented as we go over and over again about the solutions to the problem which appears crystal clear after a brainstorming session with self.
Some people like me, have the need to voice out their thoughts to make some sense of what they are thinking and most of the times we think faster than we speak so by the time we have finished voicing it out, we have found our answer or maybe another question that we need to address, and then we keep talking until we have some sort of clarity in our minds. People like me who are introverts are known to be self-talkers for we generally don’t express ourselves in the presence of other people. But the extroverts have also been known to talk to themselves, maybe a little less.
Just like how, as kids we say words out loud repeatedly to make sure we don’t forget, speaking out loud to yourself help us focus on the voice in our minds and eradicate the noises in our minds. Those of us who talk to themselves are more conscious about their actions most of the time, because we tend to closely follow our thoughts and repercussions of our words and actions. In a way, we are very vocal in reminding ourselves that what needs to be done at a given point in time, like at times when I’m really angry at someone, then despite listening to all the reasons my mind is advocating to act against that person, I now have the power to talk my mind out of it and rather take a more amicable and agreeable stance and not follow my mind’s advice. Well, that’s a small step, but a must first step towards mastering your mind, instead letting your mind master you
People who indulge in self-talks are not loners but we do not mind being alone or without company as we have ourselves as our best company. I have talked to myself on all topics under the sun and over the period of time I have formed defined opinions about things, people, and situations. People who indulge in talking to themselves are most comfortable even when they are among strangers, and they have steady personality which is very diverse yet explicit.
Self-talks are like you whispering to yourself, be aware of what you whisper.
Most of the time speaking to our own self seems like a much better option than risking speaking with someone and then ending up not speaking to them at all. Self-taking is certainly a good habit which can be an essential practice in becoming more self-aware, self-awakened and more self-reliant. You become the source to empower your own self. When we go beyond the immediate reality and involve ourselves mentally challenging every circumstance, we get the solution from the depths of our life. Self-talk does help in uplifting our self-image and self-respect. Constantly evaluating ourselves helps us to focus on our positives and work towards fine tuning our strengths and becoming better at it.
I do not know specifically about intelligent and successful people, but on a personal note, I certainly believe that everyone should talk to themselves. It gives you clarity of thoughts, ideas, life goals and it is like a detox session for. The more we are comfortable with our own voice, more we know ourselves, the more confident we become and less bothered we are about what others think of us and that is a very powerful feeling.
Talking to oneself is a therapy like Meditation and Introspection.
I haven’t read much about Swami Vivekananda but these particular words he wrote, I find them very interesting, “Talk to yourself once in a day…otherwise you may miss meeting an excellent person in the world.” How true is that!
Self-talk is like embracing that shadow part of me and acknowledging its existence. Maybe your true self wants to be heard, has to say something to you, which otherwise you aren’t able to say in front of others, and instead we bottle up our voice and emotions. While we have the urge to vent out, all we need is to sit and have a healthy conversation with ourselves. Everyone has a unique self, and yet we chase to be like others. Why not look for the true self, that person residing beneath the masks and layers we put on for the world and explore who we truly are and what we truly want and what we truly want to say. After all, you don’t want to remain a stranger to your own self. Befriend this true version of your own self.
However, we need to be cautious while we indulge in self-talk and identify who is talking to us? Is it our higher self that is grounded in wisdom, compassion, empathy for ourselves and others or is it our lower self that is dominated by anger, rage, envy, greed and stupidity speaking to us, because in the end our voice is our own projection.
If self-talk is a way of Introspection, which is indeed a good thing to do, but we need to understand that the end result of this introspection must be a positive action. You can be your own best friend and your own worst enemy. What you tell yourself may lift you up or it may tear you down, so talk and listen to your own self wisely.