It is quite a revelation when we begin to notice that other people tend to put the same value on us, as we put on ourselves. When we have self-respect, that conveys itself to others through our body language, words and actions, and others will respect us in return.
When we feel good inside, it is as if the sun shines on us from outside as well. People smile more readily. Even nature looks more beautiful. When we feel on top of the world, our faces and actions speak to others of that and they receive a lift from our happiness. Their happiness then feeds back into our own sense of well-being, increasing it further. In contrast, when we feel worthless, others tend to react towards us in ways that confirm we really are not good to know.
Changes in our mental states alter the way we interpret what is going on around us, including how we respond to other people. The world will of course look different, when we see it through different lenses. But does it really change, depending on the way we see it?
Modern physics tells us that there is an informational component to the entire physical world. What we call matter is really energy, wrapped up into particles and objects according to a kind of matrix of instructions that give material form to the world. Physicists do not yet know how that matrix comes into being, or where the instructions come from. But they are certain it is there.
It seems that nature has a mind of her own, a kind of universal consciousness. This has within it laws that give constancy to the world we experience in time and space, but there is also continuous change. Ups and downs, light and dark, tragedies and triumphs, are all part of the show put on by this universal mind. All living things have individual parts within this overall scheme.
Religious-minded people have often felt that God is love, and that when our own actions are loving, happiness follows and self-respect stays strong. It is true that a divine law of benevolence is at work. When we follow that law with our thoughts and actions, the universe subtly supports us, bringing lasting success. When we go against that law, our conscience bites and self-respect tumbles down. For example, when we criticise others, we are going against the law of universal love and our happiness diminishes.
Sometimes, through creating a false sense of self-worth, we find it hard to distinguish right from wrong. We fool ourselves into thinking we are ok because we have lots of money, or a high position, or power over other people. Such ego-based self-aggrandisements are dangerous and illusory because they are never fulfilling. We know perfectly well, consciously or subconsciously, that they are delusional and therefore we always need more and more accolades to prop up our self-respect. The result is to further blunt the conscience, depleting our humanity and leading to a vicious circle of decline.
We cannot just fake self-respect, and expect to receive true regard in return. To the extent that our actions are mean and selfish, others will see that, no matter how much we may try to think well of ourselves.
What then can be done if we have lost our sense of true self-respect, how can we reclaim it? This is where God comes to the rescue. As a Supreme Being who always remains a reservoir of truth, God not only recognises the innate dignity in each one, but His light enables us to see that our real, original, nature, underneath the mistakes, is eternally good.
This holds true for all humans. And because the core of goodness is always there, in every one of us, there is always the possibility of regaining it.
The method of doing so that I have learned is called Rajyoga. It entails withdrawing my sense of who I am from the brain and body, which may carry many needy tendencies, and considering myself instead to be a soul or spirit. In that non-physical, internal awareness, I become better able to access my original, pure consciousness—my original goodness. I become better aligned with God’s energy of truth, and gain the strength to overcome my insufficiencies and act from my higher nature.
It is then that true self-respect gradually returns and everywhere I go and whatever I do, the world starts to respect me too!
Neville Hodgkinson is a UK-based author and journalist, and a long-time student of Rajyoga.
Rajyoga entails withdrawing my sense of who I am from the brain and body, which may carry many needy tendencies, and
considering myself instead to be a soul or spirit.
Religious-minded people have often felt that God is love, and that when our own actions are loving, happiness follows and self-respect stays strong. It is true that a divine law of
benevolence is at work. When we follow that law with our thoughts and actions, the
universe subtly supports us, bringing lasting success.