The whole world seems to be distressed because people want to be given respect. But if you ask for respect, you can never receive it. There is only a little bit of respect in the world and a great deal more defamation. We may encounter praise, but only for a short while before we have to put up with more defamation. The world today is such that we have to deal with a lot of sorrow and only temporary happiness.
What is the key to gaining respect – and finding happiness? Honesty. Where there is honesty there will be love, and where there is love, there is also respect. Honesty gives us the strength to give respect to others and to maintain our own self-respect. This equips us to tolerate defamation, disregard, and insults. We must maintain our equanimity and stability no matter what the situation may be. Whether we are facing victory or defeat, fame or defamation, praise or insults, happiness or sorrow, we must maintain our self-respect.
Often, we do not give ourselves enough time to create something of ourselves, and so we lack self-respect. As a consequence, when somebody says something to us, we immediately feel the insult of their words and get upset by them. But if we practise having an honest heart for a good amount of time, we give birth to self-respect within ourselves, and make this a continuous practice. You must give yourself enough attention to develop an elevated character.
It does not matter what someone else is like; you have the responsibility of giving respect to others. If someone is older than you, do not show them a stern eye. Instead, have regard for them. If you disregard elders, then how will they have love for you in their hearts? If someone is equal to you, have respect for them, too. Do not quickly retort, ‘Oh, but this is wrong’ when that person expresses an opinion; instead, have respect. With little children, inspire them by saying, ‘You are very good’, and watch how they blossom. If we knock them down and complain and criticise them, then how will their self-respect develop?
It is up to you to be the first to give respect to your elders, your equals and to children, too. As you do this, watch how that respect returns to you. In a nutshell, it is up to you to change yourself, reform yourself, and improve yourself so that you claim blessings from everyone – otherwise, what use is this life? We worry about others but we do not look after ourselves. You can change this today and watch your self-respect grow.
The late Dadi Janki was Administrative Head of the Brahma Kumaris.