Self-respect is not a matter of what you are doing in your life, but rather of how you are doing it. This requires that you bring quality and virtue into each action, whatever that action maybe.” — Dadi Janki
When negative things happen to us, we often get so consumed and overpowered by those events or people that in that moment, it becomes the only that thing matters; we become oblivious to everything else in our life, even the positive that is happening around us. It takes a while before we realize to what extent we had given so much power to that thing or person. And even then, it is not so easy to turn the dial back to zero and find our balance.
So, ‘don’t let it land’. When I get affected mentally or emotionally, it means I have allowed that thing to ‘land’ in my life and stick to me. Then it will harass me, until I send it flying off on its way on the next flight. Allowing things to land in my heart or mind means that I have given them far greater weight and importance than my own precious life, or my own self-respect. I have given it more airtime than it deserves. The thing may be miniscule, but because I have let myself become emotionally affected by it, that thought, or idea has become a mountain and a big issue in my mind. This is when we find that we have lost our true and balanced perspective, and we find we are pulled into some energy vortex of wasteful thinking. We need to be careful because this is how the ego can get the upper hand.
When things ‘land’, we often get angry. Anger is a way to express our distaste, displeasure, and irritation about the situation. What happened was the trigger for the train of negative thoughts set in motion, but I am the one who is upsetting my own self. It stays in the memory track for a long time because we have given it space in our mind and have mulled it over far longer than necessary. That is why it is difficult to remove the sorrow and pain we have taken, especially from relationships. That ‘landing’ made an impact and it festers. If we are able to reflect and see the lessons learnt, we can take benefit and move into our self-respect.
We can choose to stay in our peace and in our power. We can maintain our soul respect. We can change the quality and nature of our thoughts at any time – we only need to choose to do so. For this we need to be aware that ‘stuff’ has landed and we have to clean up the emotional mess it created. When we shift out of the lower energy vibrations, then we can start to move to the higher frequencies of love, compassion and wisdom. We become proactive, rather than reactive.
For that we need focus and to pay attention, remain centred and not lose our concentration with the myriad of distractions that are out there in the world. We also have to free ourselves from our own thinking patterns; along with those old recordings from the past playing in our mind; and those worries about the future too.
We have to be alert to anything that may be about to ‘land’ so that we can avert it. Vigilance is the key. We need to pay attention and not take things personally. Meditation gives power to send things on their way, and not land, so that we can remain free.
Aruna Ladva is an author and Rajyoga meditation teacher based at the Global Retreat Centre, Oxford, UK.