One of the main aspects of our life is relationships—with our family, friends, and colleagues. Whatever we think or say, the way we behave, creates vibrations, which radiate from us to those we interact with. Similarly, others send us their vibes through their thoughts, words and behaviour.
The people in various relationships may be playing different roles, such as a parent and a child, a businessman and a client, a student and a teacher. Whatever their roles, the relations between them involve an exchange of energy, through their vibes.
We tend to think that relationships are mostly about what we see or hear—each other’s words and behaviour. We tell others, and even ourselves, “I did so much for them”, “I sacrificed my comforts for their sake”.
We may have done a lot, but what did we think about them? That is what creates the foundation of the relationship. We overlook this key aspect. As a society, we focus on what we can see—what others have done for us, our organisation, our community or country.
If our relationships were founded just on what we did, perhaps they would be very strong, since we are busy doing so much throughout the day. But we find that notwithstanding all that we have done for others, the relationship is quite fragile.
Let us shift our focus from what we do to what we think. Take any relationship which lacks the harmony that ought to be there—in spite of our best efforts at fostering cordiality, there is misunderstanding and discontent.
It helps to check what we are thinking and feeling while doing all that we do for others. Are we peaceful, happy, stable?
We go to great lengths to ensure that everything in our life is perfect, but forget one thing—perfection begins with a perfect state of mind, which creates the right vibes.
It is the soul, the core of our being, that thinks and feels, but we have neglected it, devoting our attention to actions. If we carry stress, irritation or rancour within us, they will contaminate all our relationships. That is because relationships are not just a give and take of goods and services; underlying that is the exchange of love, respect, acceptance, and trust.
We can offer these energies only when we have an ample stock of them. For that we have to fill ourselves with spiritual power regularly, through meditation and positive thinking. When this power is depleted, we start having expectations, feeling hurt, and complaining.
Once the soul is fully charged, it can transfer its power, by thoughts and words, to other souls, raising their energy level and the quality of the relationship.
B.K. Shivani is a well-known motivational speaker and Rajyoga teacher.