If money could have bought happiness, then the majority of people in the US would have been happy today. As per a survey, between 1956 and 1998, the per capita income of every American saw a surge from $2,000 to $20,000; still, we found only 30% of Americans leading a happy life. In 2021, the per capita income in the US would be over $50,000, and the happiness graph has only gone down. Despite being one of the richest countries in the world, it ranks at the 19th place in the happiness survey.
A course in psychology from Yale University helped me see the notion of happiness differently. Below are a few pointers, based on my personal and academic experiences, on the idea of happiness, especially in the time of a pandemic.
1. Fixed mindset vs growth mindset: Most people have a fixed mindset and whenever they are questioned about what they don’t know or any discussion done in front of them where they have no clue, they feel they are being judged or their intelligence is being questioned. It’s always good to have a growth mindset where you accept you don’t know certain things and you make efforts, create strategies, create engagements and have perseverance. Through research when the brains of the growth mindset were observed there was more activity than the brains of fixed mindset individuals. Neurons in their brain can form stronger connections and over time they can be smarter. The new learning brings new challenges which lead to happiness.
2. Gifting yourself happiness: It’s always observed that people try to spend money on themselves when they are low or want to feel happy. It’s not the amount of money they spend that matters; even a small sum spent on a cup of coffee, at a parlour, or in a retail outlet does wonders. If you do the same for someone you love, the level of happiness increases manifold! Also, if you spend some money on another person who is in need of it, your happiness scale rises. So it’s always good to buy gifts for family, friends or a person who is in need.
3. Let your mind flow: Mind-wandering is so natural that we don’t even realise it. Data shows that 47% of the time our mind wanders and it always ventures into negative thoughts and events of the past. Many times we also keep thinking about the future. Is it possible to control? Through the day, we have our mind sometimes on flow, sometimes controlled, sometimes bored, sometimes anxious. When our mind is at flow, we really like to do what we love, that is the time we are using our potential and higher skills. Also, we are out of our comfort zone into a challenging arena. We are happiest at that moment. So to be happy, pick up a profession that brings out your maximum potential. Pick a relationship that makes your life bright and cheerful, find a hobby that makes you feel good. Be social and enjoy the company of friends and do stuff that brings excitement. Explore and adventure.
4. Event+Response = Experience: Setback comes in everyone’s life, but it’s our response that shows who we actually are. We have the power to change the experience with our response. Shakespeare said, “For there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so. Also, response comes with mindfulness (Attention + Attitude = Mindfulness).Attention is the moment-to-moment experience and attitude is the acceptance. And to improve the experience and acceptance of adverse situations, we need to fix our minds through meditation. As we meditate, our stress, anxiety, etc, fall in place, leading us to happiness.
While we all want to be happy, the pursuit of happiness never reaches the top of our to-do list. Our lives are busy, thinking what people will think and framing ourselves in perfect family clicks, caring for children and elderly parents, working to pay the bills and holding down a functioning home. We keep doing this each day and rarely do we ask ourselves if they are making us happy.
Happiness comes when we unshackle ourselves and do what our heart wants us to do, and feel satisfied and fulfilled. Happiness is a feeling of contentment, and perfect happiness comes when we have all our needs satisfied.