Today we have advanced treatments for diseases, and so many medicines, yet more illnesses and medical complications are emerging. Why? Because of complications in our minds. Our relationships have become complicated for the same reason.
When we remove complications from the mind, those in the body cease to exist. Otherwise, doctors tell us that if we do not change our way of thinking and living, the complications may return. The doctor can remove the clot or blockage in the arteries, but if we do not get rid of the blockages we have created in our minds, they will continue to harm the body.
How do we create these complications?
We do not face major problems daily. Our habits and traits are not formed by big issues, but by the small challenges we face on a regular basis. There is heavy traffic on the roads every day, and there may be a pothole too, which we have been driving past for months. We get irritated and create negative thoughts about such things. When we do this day after day, we lose a colossal amount of mental energy.
The traffic and the pothole are on the road, but when we think about them repeatedly, they start to exist in our mind. What happens within families? One person is tidy and keeps everything in the right place, but another is slipshod. This causes frequent arguments. Putting things back in order probably takes less time and energy than quarrelling about it, but we create a habit of getting worked up over trifles and bickering over them.
We waste our energy in this way, and the result is that when we are confronted by a serious situation, we lack the power to deal with it. We are unable to tolerate, forgive, or put the past behind us, and instead of seeing the good in others we note their faults –these are all signs of a depleted soul. It is because of this depletion that people nowadays get upset simply because someone did not ‘like’ their social media post. They brood over it, become agitated, and end up wasting more of their mental energy.
Our complaining, grumbling or swearing at others does not change them for the better, but it certainly damages us by draining the mind of its strength. However, we have become habituated to getting annoyed and impatient. We cannot sit calmly even during a one-minute stop at traffic lights, and start scrolling through messages on our phone.
We need to remember that in any situation, the one thing that is in my control is my state of mind. Instead of focusing on that, we try to control the situation or the other person. Similarly, the other person tries to control us. So, we have two persons who are not in control of themselves trying to control each other, which leads to conflict.
To communicate effectively in such situations, we need to make sure that our mind is calm, our feelings are pure, vibrations are positive, and we have respect for the other person. In the absence of any of these, our words will make no impact at all.
B.K. Shivani is a well-known motivational speaker and Rajyoga teacher