Although attempting to commit suicide is no longer a crime in India, the stigmatisation remains strong, preventing a clearer understanding of the number of people completing a suicide. Many an attempt also goes unreported because of the myths associated with it. Suicide affects families and communities having a long-lasting impact on the people left behind who continue to struggle with feelings of confusion, guilt and anger trying to understand what they could have done to help. Suicide is a public health problem and one of the most preventable causes of death.
Suicidal behaviour is strongly associated with financial distress, relationship break-up, chronic pain and illness, depression, substance use, experiencing discrimination, conflict, abuse, violence and disaster. The pandemic and enforced lockdown measures have had unprecedented mental health consequences leaving many fearful of infection, dying and death of loved ones. Loneliness and social isolation added to the difficulty of coping with these psychological stresses thereby significantly increasing anxiety, depression, insomnia and in some instances, partner violence. This in turn increased incidences of suicide.
Feeling suicidal isn’t a defect or weakness. The emotional triad that plays a significant role in suicide is feeling helpless, hopeless and worthless. It makes the person think that there’s no reason to live and the pain they feel is more than they can cope. In this moment of crisis, suicide is their only option. ‘Hopelessness’ feels like no one can help them. It isn’t that solutions don’t exist, but they’re unable to see them and have very little expectation that their situation can improve. ‘Helplessness’ incapacitates them from taking steps to solve their problems and the overwhelming sense of personal failure leaves them feeling ‘worthless.’
Every threat or talk of suicide should be taken seriously as it’s actually a cry for help and someone to rescue them. At this point perhaps the intent is not death but a need for things to be different giving them a way out and thereby attempting to end their pain. People thinking about suicide will find some way to communicate their pain to others. And those who have attempted once are likely to try again. Thus, it’s imperative to acknowledge their feelings and listen to them. Helplines and counselling provide these vulnerable individuals with a non-judgmental space to feel safe, open up and be understood. With their support, they can overcome the thought, explore their options giving them a chance to try making their life better.
Over the years, suicide and attempted suicide amongst adolescents and younger people have increased substantially. Here, prevention becomes difficult since it’s more of an impulsive act for them. Their lives revolve around their home, educational institutions and friends’ circle. Today, their internal and online world has expanded significantly and enmeshed with their identity making them feel worthy, accepted and appreciated. Further, with different stressful life experiences, these spaces can also make them feel either safe and secure or judged and (cyber) bullied.
During adolescents, a multitude of changes happens, both physically and mentally. In an attempt to cope with these changes, they’re confronted with an identity crisis emotionally leaving them feeling confused, irritable and unpredictable. Parental disappointment and societal acceptance are equally a struggle and often they feel misunderstood. So, how they see themselves and observe their world makes a huge impact on them. Often, their perception of crisis is important and can create more distress than the actual crisis itself. Ironically, their internal world is difficult to access even for people who care about them because they don’t openly talk about it. Lack of a healthy support system and coping skills can leave them vulnerable to suicidal thoughts.
Suicide is a complex issue and attempted suicides greatly outnumber completed suicides. Suicidal thoughts and the act of suicide are very different things. Even though the suicidal crisis is almost always temporary unfortunately it’s a permanent act. It cannot be undone. If someone trusts you enough to share about their suicidal thoughts, then it’s important to stop ignoring or shutting them out. The most critical way to prevent it is to talk and lend support to help reduce potential suicidal behaviour. They need to be told they’re supported and don’t need to struggle alone. They should be encouraged to seek professional help.
The writer is a mental health counsellor.