The decisions we make in our daily lives dictate the actions we take, which in turn dictate the outcomes we create. That is why making accurate decisions is vitally important. And yet life can seem so confusing, as different people and influences trigger feelings that make it like trying to see through fog.
Simple decisions like our choice of breakfast, which clothes to wear, what to say to start a conversation, are easy enough. But when important roles or relationships are involved, our ability to make sense of things can become clouded by strong emotions. And when we cannot make sense of things, we will not make accurate decisions and our actions will not lead to a good life for ourselves or others.
How can we do better at sense-making so we make more accurate decisions and take better actions?
This famous line from William Shakespeare’s play “As You Like It” offers some insight:
“All the world’s a stage,
and all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts, …” (Act II, Scene VII)
Do I act and interact with the awareness that life is a play and I am a spiritual actor? Or does my sense of self get lost in the roles I play? I may play a child, sibling, husband, wife, parent, professional – each role bringing with it different personas, aims and expectations.
Many years ago, I was faced with a decision of whether to attend an important meeting (good for my work role) or my son’s first birthday (good for my parent role). This conflict caused me to flip flop back and forth between what was best for my work and what was best for my son. I found it hard to make an accurate decision because the situation seemed to demand that one role “win” and the other role “lose”.
But behind both these roles – behind all the roles I play – there is just one “me”, the spiritual actor, the soul, playing my part on the stage of life. I put on performances every day for an audience of family, friends, and work colleagues. How much do I play my part well, or do I do a lot of what Canadian sociologist, Erving Goffman, called “Impression Management” – putting on a show to impress others, but losing myself along the way?
To make sense of complex situations so I can make accurate decisions and take the right actions, inner silence is crucial. During a visit to the Cambridge University, Dadi Janki, the late administrative head of the Brahma Kumaris, once told me, “Your problem is, you think too much”.
It took me years to understand the deep wisdom in her statement – that the clear sense-making that precedes accurate decision-making comes from inner silence.
With inner silence, there is less confusion which is caused by the fog of overthinking. Life’s situations and challenges make much more sense. Accurate decisions come naturally and easily.
Inner silence is cultivated by developing the awareness of being the spiritual actor, inherently whole and complete, not defined and divided by the roles I play. Then that inner silence makes it easy to connect to the Supreme, drawing the power I need to remain stable in my true identity. This is Rajyoga meditation.
Learning how to connect in this way is not difficult. It just involves taking small steps towards thinking less and enjoying the silence and stillness behind the mind. If a small baby thought too much about how to walk, it would never learn how to do it.
If I am not happy, fulfilled, and contented, then something is missing in my life. Conventional logic says that “something” is “out there”, so I must think about what it is, think about how to get it, think about who is stopping me, think about how to stop them, etc. However, the “something” missing is actually already in me. I already have everything I need to live a good life. Through Rajyoga I realise myself as the spiritual actor, connect with the Supreme Spiritual Actor, and thereby draw the power I need to remain stable in the awareness of who I really am.
Geoff Marlow is an organisational consultant and Rajyoga practitioner based in Cambridge, UK.