A few days ago, I got embarrassingly late for a training session which was to be conducted by me. I had set up the alarm time in my mobile phone before sleeping. But in a hurry, I had forgotten to set the day of the alarm! ‘If I had an aeroplane still couldn’t make it on time. Just another maniac Monday’. These lines from a famous song by The Bangles says it all- being late for work and for leisure is all pervasive. Nowadays, many organizations have punch system for attendance though quite a few still rely on the fear of the tyrannical boss as the deterrent. But what to do if you are waiting for your girlfriend at a café and have been repeatedly receiving the message- ‘Reaching in ten minutes’.
Expressing annoyance is not an option because one has to put one’s best foot forward. But waiting isn’t easy too because in that phase a minute feels like ten minutes. Many ladies have a grouse- during the courtship phase, my man could wait for me for hours. But after marriage, his patience wears thin in no time. However, at marriages, it is an unwritten rule- the baraatis will turn up late. By his own admission, Shatrughan Sinha was quite late (by three hours) for his marriage. And he didn’t utter the word, ‘khamosh’ on that day.
There is a long list of explanations for reaching late, true as well as fictitious. The commonest one is-traffic congestion. But an ingenious excuse was made by a junior doctor while I was working in Safdarjang Hospital New Delhi. He came late on the day of joining and gave the reasoning that he took time to locate the department in the sprawling campus. The chief had joined a few days ago and seemed to agree with him. However, later, another doctor revealed to the boss that the chap had previously worked in the department. He was called to the office again and received the well-deserved reprimand. Few days later, another doctor turned up late, but the chief couldn’t take him to task because he said, ‘Sir, I went to the Balaji temple. I have brought some prasad for you too.’
There are some hacks for exposing those making phony excuses. If someone sitting at home says I am on the way in my vehicle, tell that person, ‘Just blow the horn.’ Or ask him or her to send the live location. I have a way of dealing with people who turn up late. First, I listen to their explanation. And then, I say this- ‘How come you are always able to catch the train on time!’ But I too had an embarrassing moment when I was a tenant at the house of a retired colonel. I was invited to the regimental party being hosted by him. I reached two minutes late (from the first floor to the ground floor of the house) and instantly acquired a sheepish look since I found that everyone else was already there, including those who had travelled long distances.
The city roads in the mornings are the best place to observe the battles being fought to reach the workplaces on time!
Jas Kohli is a noted humour writer. He is the author of three bestselling humour novels, ‘Lights! Wedding! Ludhiana!’, ‘Lights! Scalpel! Romance!’, and ‘Anything to Look Hot’.